


Cascade Dreaming

by fullsungazer



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Dreams, Friendship/Love, M/M, Minor Character Death, doctor!seonghwa, i suck at summaries too, im really bad at tagging, it gets deeper i promise, mentions of depression, mingi and jongho are brothers, this is just a semi-plot or smth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:00:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 29,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25956367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullsungazer/pseuds/fullsungazer
Summary: Ever since his father's passing, Yunho has been coping with people who have only existed in his dreams. He thought that maybe these are just unrecognized aspects of his own life in the form of different individuals.Then how in the world these people appear before him, on one fateful afternoon, at his school, breaching through his reality he's already been struggling to uphold. And why does a certain Song Mingi looks like he's about to punch him in the face?
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi
Comments: 30
Kudos: 68





	1. 1

Yunho squinted through the wild rays of sunlight from above, struggling to regain both his vision and balance. He found himself lying down a rocky lawn, feeling a bed of dried grass through his fingertips.

"Hey Yunho!" As soon as he recognized the slightly high pitched voice, he braved his eyes back to the sky, vibrant greens and purples of the northern lights now visible, dancing through the clouds of the summer sky.

Yunho sighed in confirmation and pushed himself from the lawn eagerly. He could now see his friends just a few yards away from where he's lying, at what it seems like an abandoned skate park in the middle of a grassy plateau.

"Are you just going to stand there or what?" calls out another, a breathier voice this time. Yunho jogs to the scene, smiling as he reaches the familiar, chaotic energy of the group.

"Hey what happened to Jongho?" Yunho crouched down to inspect the boy sitting in the middle of the ruckus.

"Mingi whacked him on the head." Jongho, the boy who'd been hit, hissed at the other, strikingly blonde with a growing mullet, who's put his head on a sandwich with a makeshift ice pack on his now bruising forehead.

"Ha, serves you right." 

"Yeosangie, that's mean," Breathy voice cooed at the side, "We just wanted to see if it's okay to dive from that cliff. You know, just one for the bucket list"

"Yeah while you buffoons cartwheel right by the edge? Haha why do I even give a fuck, Jung Wooyoung" Jongho yelps at another harsh pressure from Yeosang.

"Well, we were practicing our somersaults for that epic cliff dive we've been planning for a while now." Yunho turns to the other boy beaming at the side excitedly.

"Sounds like a plan, San. May I do the honors of throwing you off of that cliff first?" Yeosang continues his banter.

"You two," he motioned to the now bickering duo "sit your dumbasses away from that cliff and be proper adults for once and you, Jongho, " Yeosang pushes the ice pack harder for emphasis. "Can’t you just give your brother a break? Stop with all this daredevil idea of yours, you’re giving him a heart attack every time."

With that, Yunho began scanning the area for the said boy's brother.

"Speaking of the devil, where is Mingi?"

"There by the cliff,” San answered.

Just across the skate park is a wide stretch of grassy field ending with a sea cliff. Yunho spotted Mingi, sitting on one of the rock formations by the edge, shoulders hunched.

Yunho settled at a comfortable distance beside his friend, basking in the morning breeze and the sound of the sea crashing against the terrain of rocks below them. As breathtaking as it looks, there's no way it could ever pass a cliff diving spot for leisure. How in the world could this be fun?

"You see? Didn't knock him out for nothing." deep voice cracked in between the crashing waves.

**"** Mhm,"

"Wow I can't believe you'd finally side on me this time" the boy laughs at how the other boy incredulously gasps from his seat. Yunho walks beside Mingi and casually slings an arm around the equally broad shoulders.

"You get a life point from me this time sir but don't assume that I'm okay with you sitting dangerously close by the edge of this cliff. Want me to beat you up this time?" Mingi playfully punched the others gut.

"Come on Mingi, let's go back. Yeosang’s been spitting fits the moment I arrived. He’s such a mother, really.”

That seemed uplifted Mingi. He slapped his knees with a groan before he finally stands up, dusting his pants.

"I better get a dramatic apology and some well-deserved pampering from my idiot brother and those two rascals when we get back." Yunho nods in fake assurance just to pacify the still sulking boy.

“’Course you will. Let's go"

**"** Let's go Yunho, sweetie, wake up. We have a few more boxes to secure before the truck arrives."

Yunho peers with heavy lids. Dirty white ceiling attacking his vision, the bright display of the Aurora gone. There's the familiar fabric of his sheets on his finger tips and not a bed of dried lawn. It is still warm though, Yunho musters, but without the humid summer breeze that was replaced with the artificial warmth of his home heater.

Today is the day their whole family leaves their hometown in Gwangju to move to Seoul. Almost six months ago when his father suddenly passed away of aneurysm, his mother decided to resign from her work to take over the business his father has left in the city. It is a family cafe and restaurant located near a big university. Being an established restaurant, although not as grand as its modern counterparts, it has a huge following from students and locals alike. Practically, it makes out great revenue to support their family. There may be some major drawbacks along this decision but Yunho treats it as a fresh new chapter instead.

"Are you sure you wanted me to drop you off later at your apartment already? It's only Saturday. School starts on Monday." Yunho can't help but smile dearly to her mom who has been reflexively tapping out her worries to the steering wheel.

"Mom we have, "Yunho faked look at his nonexistent watch." 3 hours and 45 minutes before we reach Seoul. Please don't miss me yet."

"I told you you could just stay at our house instead of renting out an apartment."

"45 minutes via train from our house to school isn't exactly practical for me mom. Geonho needs you to be there as well since our house is closer to his school." Yunho took a glimpse at the back seat to check on his now sleeping younger brother.

"And besides, I can easily manage the cafe anytime since the apartment is just a few blocks away. Oh and Wooyoung lives next door, thought you forget about that."

"Oh that sweet boy! It's been what- four years? I've been missing his mother's cooking during our church service potlucks ever since they left. Don’t forget to send my regards to them okay? I’ve packed some dried Jujube and some local green tea for him. I’m sure he misses those.”

“Sure mom,”

“Oh and don’t forget about visiting Seonghwa okay? Might as well send him some goodies too. I wonder how our handsome doctor had been doing. ”

“I believe he’s in his second year of internship already. But don’t worry, I’ve already bribed him with this super high-tech vacuum cleaner and an aroma diffuser set I bought online to meet me on his first day off of the month and he’s totally up for it. ” Yunho scowls at the sudden thought of his childhood friend’s obsessive penchant for cleanliness.

“Doctors be saving lives but killing the social life.”

His mom laughed on the sides as she carefully steers from the slight turn of the expressway.

“You were once a Pyschology student honey. Why the sudden change of heart?”

“It’s more practical like this mom,” His father’s sudden passing has brought their lives to a complete turn. For Yunho, what matters most is their lifestyle and not much on his career anymore. He now has a restaurant to manage and a family to take care of. Though, he has always dreamt of being someone who explores and understands the complexity of human behavior. He has always wanted to become a clinical psychologist. He wanted to help people from their ordeal. As a doctor. Just like his Seonghwa hyung. 

“Besides, “ Yunho reassures his mom. “Pyschology’s a pre requisite under econ too so it’s not like I’d miss anything. I’d probably just need to re-take stats.” Oh God, how he hates Statistics.

It didn’t take long when they finally entered Seoul. Half an hour has passed and they’re nearing Yunho’s new university. As they enter the school’s vicinity, he noticed a monument situated in the middle of a small round about. There are bouquet of flowers, picture frames and candles, some that have melted and some that were just lighted. And then Yunho remembers.

“Isn’t it ironic that your father didn’t die from that accident?” His mother pointed. “Look, there’s the restaurant right? It’s just a few hundred meters from that building that collapsed.” Yunho knew it’s still too much for his mother to be taking his father’s passing this lightly.

He was silent until they reached his apartment with so much in his head.

“Are you going to be okay by yourself?

“I’m fine mom. I’ll be meeting with Wooyoung later after I got settled. How about you and Geonho?”

“I’ll be fine with your brother so don’t worry about us. Geonho is set to become a strong man. He just doesn’t eat a lot of vegetables now but pretty soon he’s going to be bigger and taller than you are.”

“Okay, wow, so he gets the Favorite Son premium upgrade now?

Yunho took a glance at the still sleeping boy with a drool hanging on the side of his lips. He can’t help but laugh heartily at the sight.

“You’re staring mom.”

“I’m just happy I get to see you laugh more these days. How is your sleep by the way?

“It’s getting better now. In fact, I’m gradually taking out the pills. I get the weirdest dreams most of the time though but nothing that cannot be handled. Don’t worry about me mom. It’s not like we won’t see each other at work on Monday.” With that, Yunho bid his family farewell.

"When you told me you ‘got taller', I didn't expect you to be freaking gigantic! What the hell happened to you"? A black-haired male screeches at Yunho, as he receives his high-five with a tiny hop. There may be a substantial difference with their height but his friend’s energy compensates the lack of it.

"Uhm air is pretty nice up in here i guess- helps with all the growth and stuff. How about you? Man, you haven't changed a bit."

"After four years? Dude, I can't believe you didn't catch this entire glow up."

"And I can't believe I’m still friends with you."

For Yunho, Jung Wooyoung has been his friend since the beginning of time. Growing up, they may be not the attached- to- the- hips kind of close, but Wooyoung is a constant for Yunho. He is that annoying kind of friend who shouts at your ear without any reason that you almost wished he’d vanished at some point in your life but you knew you can’t because he always got your back and you love him dearly you just won’t admit. They grew especially close during middle school when they realized they share the same passion for dancing. Ever since Wooyoung left Gwangju four years ago, Yunho’s usual spark during their practices has faded. And now, reuniting with Wooyoung after years feels pleasantly nostalgic

"No but seriously, how are you these days?”

"I'm getting better now. Everything was just too much for me lately, I couldn't even grieve properly."

"Were you still part of the dance crew before you left home?"

"Yeah,” Yunho recalls. “Attending the usual weekend training and hanging out with the crew was a breather though- Oh and for some sappy news, they still miss you, like a lot. Thought you’d like to know."

"Gosh, I miss them a lot too. We practically grew up with most of the kids there. You know dance is life bro. Couldn't think of anything I’d replaced it with"

"Except for Business Management?" Yunho grins.

"That's my mom's choice okay. She wanted me to be some kind of tycoon someday."

"Well, a mom can dream." Wooyoung throws his third ball of fried chicken stained napkin that night to Yunho.

"Since we're already on the topic, I’ve been meaning to ask if you'd like to join our dance team. I know you've been going through a lot and it hasn't been long since -"

"So when do I get to practice?"

"Dude! Really? I mean, wow, I- sorry I didn't mean to impose or anything but-"

"I'll be fine Woo. Really. Dancing keeps me sane too. If I'm going burn my ass trying to juggle my education while managing a restaurant I might as well insert something fun in between."

There was so much to catch up that night Yunho even stayed at Wooyoung’s apartment for a few rounds of gaming before he finally calls it a day and return to his room which is conveniently located next door. Wooyoung had been babbling about this super cool senior he’s dying for Yunho to meet at school. And that’s great, Yunho thinks. It’s nice to finally be with people again. Real, actual people he can meet and share his life on a physical level. Not the ones stuck in his dreams.

Yunho looks at his desk with his prescription pills, having a mental debate whether to take one or not before he sleeps. In the end, he decided to take a pill. Just for tonight.

He needed his reality. But his dreams make everything seems better.

Yunho tiptoed his way towards a clearing as he pass through a damp pathway in the forest. An array of Redwoods made the dewy forest seemed dark on a bright morning. Streaks of light peaks through the branches as he nears the glade he's heading to. He can also hear a faint sound of a very familiar song echoing throughout the forest, getting louder as he nears the open space.

As he reaches the forest clearing, he was welcomed with a cold morning breeze and a vast field of lavender. A few yards away, there are empty school desks. Yunho walks warily through the field and sat onto one of the wooden desks as he basks in the fresh fragrant gust of lavender.

"Hey." Mingi’s deep voice takes him away from his trance.

" Oh, hey."

"I've been thinking."

"Oh, congratulations." Yunho jests.

" Yunho, hear me out please." Jesus, not again.

"I couldn't get it off of my head. It's like - i don't know, a thought vomit I guess? Is there even such a thing?”

" Fine, i'm all ears." Yunho sighs. It makes him also wonder how has the hardships of life been training him to actually put up with all of Mingi’s random rhetorical musings.

" Okay so the question goes something like this. If you were to punch yourself and it hurts, are you strong or are you just weak?" Mingi's curiosity has always baffled Yunho. He may be the incredibly oblivious fellow out of the bunch but his level of introspect is a contradiction.

"Seriously?" Mingi nods like a curious five-year- old.

"So if you punch yourself and it hurts, you’d like to know if you are strong or weak." Yunho trails, severely dumbfounded.

“Yeah,”

"I'd say you're stupid."

"Huh? But why? "

"Why would you even punch yourself on the first place? Besides, your subconscious has been anticipating it already.” Yunho continues. "Subconsciously, you will adjust how hard you will punch yourself since you'd probably know the resulting pain beforehand. It takes bravery for you to punch yourself real hard. And that's a different story and wow why am I so worked up on this?"

"So bravery,"

"Yeah, I mean, you could always punch yourself you know. But do you really have the guts to legitimately, like really, _really_ , hurt yourself? I don’t know- do I make sense to you?”

“Okay, thanks!”

“That’s it?”

“Thanks to you, I can now validate the intellectual potential of this question- not like San’s.”

“Then why don’t any of you idiots can’t give me an answer?” San suddenly appears on their side, sitting rather comfortably on top of Wooyoung’s desk.

“Hyung! Because it’s stupid!” Jongho shouts from the back as he tries to win an arm wrestling match with a surprisingly able and strong Yeosang.

“Sorry I didn’t get the question, what is it again?” Yunho asks.

“Okay, everyone listen. If a baby’s butt pops out of its mother at 11:59PM and the head comes out at 12:01 AM, what day will the baby be declared to be born on?”

“San, the level of your curiosity makes me want to believe you are the baby.” Yeosang quips before finally slamming Jongho’s forearm down in victory against their makeshift wrestling table.

San rolls his eyes from the shade and ignores Yeosang altogether. “Yunho? Your intellect, please?”

“Hard pass. I can only handle a Mingi today. Sorry Sannie.” Yunho’s brain is officially toasted.

“But you’re our future Psychologist. You’re supposed to be smart.”

“I’m not”

“Yes you are”

“No. I’m taking Economics”

“No you’re not. You wanted to become a doctor right?”

“Yes I wanted to but-“

“But why?”

“I-“

“Yunho,” For some reason, Mingi’s deep voice subdues the now ambient voices of his friends.

“It’s okay, Yunho.” Mingi smiles. Yunho suddenly forgets about the lavenders. The music that seemed ended. The questions. His fears, his apprehensions. 

“You’ll be okay.”

Yunho woke up from the faint sound of people chattering, passing through his earphones as his playlist ends from its last song.

It took him a good few minutes to realize where he is, fingertips unconsciously grazing through that same, familiar texture of a wooden desk, dazed and confusedly yearning.

Ever since his father died, Yunho had been living in a dream. And while he takes it literally, he found it as his secret escape. Everything seemed better with them. Coping up became easier too.

Dreams aren't really foreign to him. When he was a young boy, having dreams felt like a treat. For him, dreams aren't just simply the desires of our subconscious. It has a deep and complex connection to the universe that has yet to be understood by science.

But lately, his dreams are getting extremely vivid it’s like he is not in a dream anymore but in some kind of parallel universe, with these people he have never seen and met in his entire existence. Sure, there's Wooyoung he's known since forever but how is it possible to have these strangers star in the makings of his subconscious, getting attached to them even- like they've known each other for so long.

Or maybe, they are just mere representations of his personal aspects in life he didn’t know he has. Maybe that’s just him in their own different images, helping him to survive from his misery.

And a whole lot of maybe’s.

Fearing for his growing detachment from reality, Yunho told his physician that he's getting better and ready to withdraw from his sleep therapy. Everything was going well until weeks before they transfer to the city. His dreams came almost every night, so intense it got to a point he almost couldn’t tell the difference.

"Hi!" Yunho snaps away from his trance when a guy in a dark blue hair with an assortment of ear piercings too much for a school day sat across him.

"You must be Yunho. Wooyoung told me to see you first because he needed to meet his study group after his elective class and...uhm are you okay?"

_Oh yeah, the library._ He remembers as he collected himself, taking his earphones off abruptly

"Oh-i'm sorry. Yes, I'm Yunho, Jeong Yunho. Hongjoong-ssi right?" Yunho clumsily reaches for a handshake

"Just hyung is fine. Nice to finally meet you, Yunho" Hongjoong beams at him. "I'm sorry am I bothering you or something?"

"No, hyung not at all. I was just resting my eyes from uh, _what was I reading again_ , ah yeah, Fundamentals of Calculus." His fake laugh hitting an octave higher than usual. “How did you find me?”

"Well, Wooyoung told me to look for a tall, dazed puppy and he said I shouldn't worry too much because you stick like a sore thumb on public anyways."

"Wh- a puppy?" the audacity, Yunho mutters.

"He's not wrong though."

Hongjoong looks relatively youthful than he is, with his cool demeanor and bold choice of fashion. But for a good comfortable hour with this senior, Yunho feels this kind of endearing maturity in him, like a true older brother. Now he understands why Wooyoung likes him so much. Yunho also learns that Hongjoong is taking up a degree in fine arts, in which he majored visual communication. He says he appreciate art with all its worth but music is still his first love. He might have not taken it as a degree for practicality, but he makes sure there's always room for his music.

“So i assigned him to play the sax up until our 3rd club meeting before he confessed he's supposed to join the dance club but he just entered the wrong classroom. He was just very shy because, he told me I’m being extra cute and nice and eager and so as not to hurt my feelings he actually put up with it and learned the saxophone, he even bought himself a book."

"Wow, the second hand embarrassment in this one is way too much. I’m so terribly sorry hyung. People from our hometown aren't typically idiots though."

Hongjoong laughs. "No, it was really funny! And from there, the rest is history. Wooyoung's pretty social too but he likes to hang out in my studio after classes or after his dance practices. He's been talking about you ever since he learned you’re going to transfer here you know. Said you're his biggest dance inspo, figuratively of course."

"Geez, i need to treat Wooyoung better from now on."

"Is it true you were majoring psychology before you shifted to econ?”

Yunho nods.

"Damn, must be nice to be smart."

"Nah, just practical reasons, hyung though I've always wanted to become a doctor and w-"

Suddenly, distinct voices coming from his back placed him on a full stop. Yunho's breathing hitched when he finally recognized the owners of those voices.

"Hey are you alright?" Hongjoong's voice became distant, almost passing.

" Do you know those guys?" With his head quickly pounding, he can almost feel his eyes wavering at the sight of three guys, disorderly grabbing seats on the table next to them.

_This can't be possible. Am I still dreaming?_

"N-no, I - I don't know them.” Yunho struggles but he needed to gather himself to know if his reality is starting to mess him up as well. “D-do you know them, hyung?"

"Yeah…” Hongjoong's response dragging. He’s completely confused at the moment at Yunho’s sudden change in behavior but continues nonetheless.

“I believe you are at the same age as those three. I personally know that guy though,” Hongoong points out the one nearest to them, the blonde one with the growing mullet,

_The guy with an ethereal visual and immense savagery. The one you could actually confess your dirty little secret and tells you an even dirtier, unsolicited secret in return. The guy that nags yet cares like a single mother of five._

_Yeosang._

“Kang Yeosang. He’s a junior in our club. He plays a lot of instruments but he’s especially good with violin. Quite timid but super nice kid.”

“The one in the middle, that one with black hair,”

_San. Loud and proud and awfully charismatic. His favorite playmate. That person who seemed full of himself but is actually very caring and sees the best in everyone._

“That’s Choi San. I believe he’s Wooyoung’s senior in their dance club. He’s quite popular you know. Does a lot of busking in his free time.”

At this point, Yunho is beyond bewildered. These complete strangers are the exact same people he shared his dreams and had seen through the depths of him like no one. Technically, they were just floating information stored at the back of his head. But then, he couldn’t even label them as ‘figments of his imagination’ because they just spontaneously popped inside his dreams, gave him the best company at his lowest point and got personally attached to each of them. And now, they’re here. In the flesh. In his reality. As complete strangers to each other.

“And tall guy over there, oh- wait a minute, I haven’t seen him sport a blonde before. Dirty blonde was a subtle choice though…”

For a brief moment, Yunho glanced at the _very_ familiar tall guy sitting on the far left of the table, earphones on, eyes unexpectedly dead and steady, staring onto whatever space he’s at. For some reason, he felt a sudden pang in his chest, seeing this all too familiar person, so distant and so out of it.

Maybe he’s not him. Yunho now pleads more than he assumes. Maybe there’s still a tiny chance he can get away from this weird train of events happening on his first day at uni.

_Please, hyung, not his name, not his name_

“That one is Song Mingi.”

Right.

Mingi. He was the very first person to show up in his dreams, that one afternoon he dozes off in the middle of his father’s wake. The person who saved him from a sinkhole in the middle of an abandoned playground. He’s the person who constantly saves him from his fears and nightmares. The person who listened to him while he cried his heart out as they lie on a rocky plateau with the majestic view of Mars and its moons. He’s the person who believes in him and vowed to remain on his side all the time. At some point, he had wished for him to be real. A true person he can hang out with. The one he can call his best friend.

But he’s a complete stranger now. He is not Mingi. He’s a whole different person. They all are.

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” And as Wooyoung enters the scene, looking at them altogether in one frame makes it even crazier and surreal.

“The guys wouldn’t let me off of the meeting. God, I'm starving!”

They are all in front of him, physically, so near yet very distant from each other.

No, he is not dreaming. These people are real. And they are all strangers in his reality. And the more he dwells on it makes him hope that this was just another dream he can sleep off.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever since his father's passing, Yunho has been coping with people who have only existed in his dreams. He thought that maybe these are just unrecognized aspects of his own life in the form of different individuals.
> 
> Then how in the world these people appear before him, on one fateful afternoon, at his school, breaching through his reality he's already been struggling to uphold. And why does a certain Song Mingi looks like he's about to punch him in the face?

Yunho sighs in relief as he clears the last audit of the morning and proceeds to man the cashier, post lunch. This is the idlest time of the day as most students and employees crowd the restaurant later in the afternoon. Yunho decided to go on full shift in the restaurant since he doesn’t have classes that day and coincidentally, one of their few staff of two called in sick for the day. He also finished all the inventory work for their first week of reopening so that he could help with all of his mother’s paper works.

But after all the effort to keep himself busy, Yunho is still severely distressed after the peculiar events that happened a few days ago.

“Yunho, are you sure you’re okay?” Wooyoung asked before taking a long sip of his drink.

“Yeah. You’ve been out of it ever since we left the library.” Hongjoong added. Their senior was kind enough to invite them over his studio but ended up dining out instead since it is inconveniently a school day the next day.

“I’m fine, really. I just thought I’ve seen those guys from somewhere.” Well that wasn’t exactly a lie right? Yunho fake laughs, humored by his own anxiety. 

“Definitely not from Gwangju though.” Wooyoung said.

“Most definitely, or you haven’t left for good just for the likes of a Choi San.” Hongjoong cooed at the side.

“Hyung!”

“By the way Yunho, your friend has a big fat crush on your person-of-interest-number-two, just letting you know.”

“No I don’t.”

“Oh yeah? So what’s up with _‘ hyung I can’t go to your studio today because I need to watch Choi San and his team busk downtown but I’ll just stay at the back so that he won’t notice I’m always there every weekend because I don’t want him to think I’m a creep’_ ?”

“That’s what you call evidence-based researching.”

“I’d say unrequited pining.” Yunho and Hongjoong reflexively high-fived each other.

“Ah, so my demise uplifts your soul now, huh? What did this hyung taught you during the short time I was away? ” Hongjoong made a face before biting on a fry.

“Okay so you mean you’re not even friends or something?”

“Remotely.”

In Yunho’s dream, San and Wooyoung is an inseparable pair. To Yunho, San is like Wooyoung’s shadow in a form of another person. While both of them share the same energy, he believes that San has always been the stronger character between the two. He has that kind of boldness Wooyoung cannot pursue.

Yunho has always been protective of Wooyoung ever since they were little kids. At first, he thought it has something to do with the dictates of societal norms in which the ‘bigger kids are supposed to protect the little ones’. But it is far deeper than that. Yunho have known Wooyoung for so long that it didn’t cost him an arm to know his friend’s insecurities and self-doubt despite him being a poster image of a social butterfly.

“Even if we go to the same club, we're on different teams so we barely hang out. I don't think he even know I exist."

"Hey don't be so hard on yourself. Why don't you try to initiate a small talk over _uh_ say, the locker room? And besides, no one can say no to a cute guy like you.” Yunho said.

"The locker room scenario got me thinking about a plethora of things that can happen though but go off with your pep talk." Hongjoong quips at the side.

"You think I’m cute?"

“In the most unromantic, platonic way, yes, you are cute Wooyoung. Please be confident of yourself. It's so unlike you. "

"I don't know he's just so cool and so confident when he performs and everybody likes him, he, I-" Wooyoung huffs.

"He's such a fuckboy! He's such a fuckboy and I love it!" And while Wooyoung whispered-scream against the palms on his face, the shamelessness of the other wasn't even a surprise to Yunho.

"Ugh, how to undo a topic. Anyway!" Hongjoong fake vomits as he shifts to Yunho, " Since you’re uncannily interested, let me pour you some tea instead. Do you remember the tall guy, Song Mingi? Apparently, he's been getting in on a lot of trouble these days.”

"I don't know the dude on a personal level though but he's quite familiar to me already. I usually see him either on the tracks with the rest of the athletics team or with his friends hanging around campus. You know, -normal college stuff. I heard he does well in his studies and is pretty outgoing too. Would you believe he’s even friends with people I know, _like_ all the way from the art department? And that says a lot like can you imagine surpassing the eccentricities of our creative nature? So basically, he’s a good, normal college kid that seems fun to be around with. But yeah, I guess the accident has struck him really bad to make him change that much."

"Accident?" Yunho was stunned.

Wooyoung leaned in. "He's one of those who survived the earthquake six months ago. I heard he was driving on close proximity from where the unfinished Crescent Hotel collapsed. A lot of kids from school thought he died from that accident."

"He was on coma for days though. Went back to school with a fractured leg and a cane. It's amazing how he recovered well as if nothing happened. Except, he’s acting so, _so_ different from who he was. He's suddenly a different person now."

“It’s true. Like there's some kind of switch that has been turned on or something."

Yunho caught himself on a trance once more, twisting and turning the silver band of ring on his forefinger. It was his father's and whenever he’s anxious about anything; he'd always turn to it for comfort.

"Hi!" And right when he's about to collect himself, there came an utterly familiar face right in front of him.

San.

"Uh, hey! I mean, hi!" _Damn_ , Yunho mentally cusses. That sounded a tad too friendly. "Hi sir! What would you like to have?" 

"Yeah, can I have a medium hot macchiato, a medium iced choco and _uh,”_

His gut feeling tells him that San didn’t go all by himself. He took advantage of his height as he takes a quick peek behind the espresso machines while San is apparently struggling with his choice of drink, judging at how passionate he is on eyeing the entire menu.

And indeed, his hunch is right. There's Yeosang trying to settle on his seat with his tablet, and then there's Mingi. He watches him as he alternates his attention to both his phone and Yeosang, where he would also glance and respond to the blonde boy occasionally. Yunho felt somehow relieved. It is the most expression he has shown ever since he saw him in the library a few days ago. He quickly turns back to San, who is still on a quest to find his drink.

"I'd really like to have coffee but i also like something fresh and fruity and cold and refreshing. I'm sorry do I sound like a pregnant woman to you?" Yunho chuckles.

"May I recommend something out of the menu? We actually made a few new drinks after re-opening. We just haven't placed it in the menu yet. We'd like to have willing volunteers first before we put it up for sale.”

"Then I volunteer!" San claps his hand expectantly.

"Great! We'll have the drinks prepared for you. "

Yunho knows San has a thing for extremely sweet treats and he is truly hoping that it is coincidentally identical to something that is not just a figment of his subconscious.

_Three pumps of vanilla cream for that._

As for the fruity element, Yunho recalls San's love for peaches. In one of his dreams, probably one of the most memorable ones, he found Wooyoung and San seated on one of the sturdier branches of a deciduous peach tree planted in the middle of an empty road of a somewhat dystopian city. Neither of them cared about the blaring sirens nor rapid explosions around them. The tree is glowing and wonderfully abundant of peaches. Wooyoung picked a lot of the nectarines while San heartily munches on them. That dream was also a monumental one for Yunho, because that might have been the first dream he saw Wooyoung and San together and the rest is history.

At least in his dreams.

"The makeover was pretty neat by the way." San said. “We liked the cozy old place but this has more of a hipster-current type of vibe."

"Thank you. I'm glad you liked it. We also refurbished some of my father's old furniture to maintain the authenticity of the place.”

"Oh- so you are Mr. Jeong's son! He would talk about you a lot, telling us about his son who's the same age as ours. I- " San trails off. "I'm really sorry about what happened. Everything was so crazy six months ago after the disaster. We found out about the news when we noticed that the restaurant is still close for about two months and counting."

"That's okay." Yunho says. “I’m pretty sure my dad's really happy right now, seeing some of his loyal customers are still in full support of what he have left." Yunho handed the drinks over to San after it was prepared by their staff.

"Here are your drinks. And as for yours, it's on the house. After all, you're our willing volunteer." San beams excitedly as he takes a sip of his drink.

"Oh my God! Is there like peach in here or something?"

"Yes, it is coffee blended with peach and honey with some sweet vanilla cream in it. Did you like it?"

"Obsessed with it! Dude, I don't know if you read minds or whatever but peaches are my absolute favorite. Plus it's sweet, creamy and _duh_ , it’s coffee. What’s not to like? I can't wait to see this on your menu soon." San exclaims.

"Well we don't have a name for it though. Do you have something in mind?"

"I'll try to come up with a name before we leave."

"Awesome! Thank you, sir."

"San." San extended a hand. "Choi San. Nice to meet you _uhm_ , Yu-Yunho?" San points at Yunho's name tag.

"Yes, I'm Yunho. Jeong Yunho. It's nice to meet you too."

"By the way, are you a student here as well?" San asks.

"Yeah, I'm currently taking a degree on Economics."

"Cool! Your department is so close to ours. As for me, I'm taking up Finance. Anyway, I don't want to bother you any longer Yunho but I hope we see each other at campus."

"Likewise, San. Enjoy your drink."

It was short but a surprisingly wholesome exchange and Yunho was both happy and relieved. Everything seems weird if one tries to put his head on it but Yunho decided to chuck all his questions for next time and just go with whatever the universe plans for him. No one has to know about this whole bizarre, astro- metaphysical moment he's having with some specific persons in his school, right?

"Yah! Song Mingi!" Yunho got startled upon hearing the name. Apparently, a guy just barged in the restaurant just now, going after the corner most table where Mingi, Yeosang and San were sitting. San and Yeosang were obviously distraught while Mingi stayed lounged on his seat

“You son of a bitch, how long have you been fucking my girlfriend?!”

“Jaehyuk, can you just do us a favor and kindly fuck off. “Yeosang answers; profanity disguised by a soft, demure voice.

“I’m not talking to you, you ugly faggot.” A loud sound of chairs screeching was heard until Yunho sees Mingi, instantly towering over the guy.

"Not my fault your girlfriend’s all over me." Mingi cunningly smirks as he jabs a finger at Jaehyuk’s chest. “So keep up, chump." Jaehyuk counters by slapping the taller man’s hand away.

"Don't fucking touch me! You bunch of faggots makes me wanna puke!"

"Then don't deep throat so far then, _big guy_." Jaehyuk cowers down in his utter disgust, unconsciously stepping back while Mingi holds himself over him.

"Why, you scared bro? Scared of the fact that this fag made your girlfriend scream _so hard_ inside a utility closet?"

Mingi was thrown at the tables harshly after Jaehyuk heaved a punch straight on his face. Mingi was about to launch a fist as well when Yeosang intuitively grabs him from the back.

“Do you actually believe that everyone is still wrapped around your finger with all your pathetic bullshit? Well guess what you fucker; no one cares on your little sob story anymore. You're nothing but trash Song Mingi. And you deserve all the hell that's happened to you!"

Mingi thrusts forward with all his brute strength that made Yeosang stumble backwards and lose his grip from the taller man's arms. Mindlessly, Yunho runs to the scene and before all hell breaks loose, he pulls the other from the back while trying his best to match the man's raging strength.

"Sir, please-" Yunho staggers from behind as Mingi swats his forearm away from the resistance.

"Sir, you have to-" Mingi tackles Jaehyuk, jamming him on the tables then finally gives a stiff punch right on his nose bridge.

A few more failed attempts to calm the situation made Yunho lose his last streak of tolerance. Mingi is unstoppable. His actions are on full rage while his eyes are dark and detached. Jaehyuk is starting to thrash weakly at the table, putty from all of Mingi's attacks. For the first time, Yunho is terrified of him. He is scared of what he can do and its repercussions because clearly, Mingi is not holding back. 

He's going to kill the guy.

Carelessly, Yunho throws himself in between and pushes Mingi off of Jaehyuk. There will be some mild bruising, somewhere on both his forearms for sure but Yunho didn’t mind. There is no way someone is going to die in their restaurant on their first week of reopening. Not on his watch.

"Mingi! That's enough!"

Yunho’s sudden uproar surprised him as well, hearing himself clearly through the dense silence inside the restaurant. The desire to vanish on the face of the earth has never occurred to him until now because _hell_ this is substantially the most awkward situation he has ever been and _wow_ Song Mingi is now looking- _no_ , staring at him like he’s got all the answers to life’s existence. What surprises him is how Mingi’s fuming gaze softened instantly whilst the heavy breathing. The frigid stare was long gone; eyes are wavering softly, almost searching through the depths of Yunho’s . It’s as if the other suddenly knows him, eyes longing with such familiar innocence on them.

For a split-second back there, he saw Mingi. The best friend he always had in his dreams. It took him a moment to break away from Mingi’s knowing gaze. He fears of drowning from them and make thoughtless decisions he _desperately wanted to do right at the moment_ but knew he would regret- like taking him in his arms as he eases him through his misery.

“Mingi _-ssi_ \- sir I-“ Yunho clears his throat. “I’m sorry but I would have to ask you to leave.” 

“No! I’m still gonna beat that fucker up-“ Jaehyuk, battered black and blue manages to protest.

“Sir, please. You need to leave or else I have to call the cops.” One of the restaurant staff pulled him off of the floor, slowly escorting the injured male to the front door with a trail of inaudible curses as he leaves. “Please take him to the nearest clinic.”

“We have to go Mingi.” San hastily pulls Mingi with him. Yunho gave one final look of concern at Mingi but the guy pulls out of San’s grip and trudges towards the exit.

“Yunho, I’m really sorry for what happened. I-I’ll be back I promise. I- _Mingi-ah wait up_! Sangie let's go.” San then scurries out to catch up with Mingi.

“We’re terribly sorry. Are you hurt?” Yeosang asks. Yunho calms down from Yeosang’s kindness in which he is greatly acquainted to. In his dreams, they would refer him as their communal mother. He’s always that one person who stays after a big fight, nags on just about anything but puts a band-aid to your wound nonetheless.

“I’m fine, thank you. There’s nothing to worry about.”

“No, this is not fine at all. Please let us know how we could settle all the damages. Mingi he- “ Yunho could feel the frustration beneath the other’s quiet façade.

“He’s a good guy you know. It’s just- a lot has happened to him, one thing after the other.”

“I understand. But he’s still very lucky to have friends like you guys.”

“Well,” Yeosang smiles, “San and I believes he's just going through a rough patch. So for the meantime, he’s got our perky asses until he comes back.” Yunho chuckles at the remark. He hoped Hongjoong would one day realize that Yeosang is not the ‘timid’ kid he perceives him to be.

“By the way, thank you for all your help. You almost got punched in the face for throwing yourself in.”

“I’d be willing to take a blow right on the face rather than having someone die in our restaurant on broad day light.”

“How did you do it though?” Yeosang quickly asks.

“Did what?”

“Mingi stopped almost immediately after he saw you. And not only that, have you seen the look on his face? It’s like he was on your spell or something.” As expected of Yeosang, he always sees right through any situation. 

“By any chance, do you know each other? I remember you calling out his name,”

“N-no. I just kind of overheard his name from behind the counter. “ Yunho wonders when does lying has become a force of habit.

“I believe that if you call someone by their name, it draws their attention immediately to the sound; therefore, you get their attention faster. That’s kind of a basic psychology I practice. Though I’m not an expert in mediating fights so don’t get me wrong.”

Yeosang laughs. “If you say so, _uhm_ Yunho-ssi, right? I’m Yeosang. And please, don’t hesitate to charge us for all the damages of today.”

“Just call me Yunho. It’s nice to meet you Yeosang. And for the record, no need to worry about anything. You should worry about your friend though. I think his lips were busted.” Yunho points out to where San and Mingi were waiting.

“Right, I should go. Thank you Yunho.”

“You’re welcome and- “ Yunho shies a little but continues. “You and your friends are always welcome here, okay?”

Yeosang’s face lights up with a smile, bows and bids him goodbye.

That night, Yunho did not take his medication. His exhaustion from today’s eventful shift at work is enough to put him down like a baby. But more than that, it might have prompted something in him. Now that he has seen a purpose, Yunho asked himself. Is it time to finally stop asking for dreams and start chasing his reality instead?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just posting some of yunho's dreams and their meanings (in this context) for references:
> 
> cliff- standing on the edge of the cliff during your dream can suggest that great possibilities will come your way. new opportunities. new chapter.  
> lavender- feelings about life or safety that allows you to accept yourself the way you are. appreciation.  
> forest- dreaming of walking through a forest can mean you are trying to hold on to something you no longer have access to.  
> peaches- symbolizes love/a blooming relationship (so don't stop pining wooyoungie! trust our prophet!yunho and woosan might just happen soon lol)
> 
> thank you for reading! thanxx is finally out! let's support the boys!


	3. 3

"Have you ever been in love?"

Mingi asks, voice louder than usual, as he tries to counter the heavy pounding of the waterfall against the rocks beneath it.

"What?"

"You know when you had googly-eyes at someone, you think about them all the time-"

"Yeah I know that but why are we suddenly having this conversation?" Yunho asks, not that he’s shocked or whatever, _yeah maybe a little_ , because that was kind of random and _very_ personal, and it doesn’t help that it’s just the two of them, below a cascading waterfall, legs dipped in a varnish-like stream of cool water.

"Why? Are you shy? Don't worry, I won't tell the horses." Yunho kicked his foot toward’s Mingi, splashing the other with some water. He hated that his gullible self also glanced at the herd of white stallions across the riverbank.

"Come on, Yunho."

"Fine. There was this girl back in high school.”

"Oh yeah? Tell me."

"She was actually a friend first. We share a few common interests so naturally, we became close during high school. She became good friends with the rest of my friends too. So feelings kind of developed at a certain point where I felt the need to confess to her. I don’t know what it is but everything seems right when I am with her and as far as I know, it is mutual between us two. So fast forward to our school festival when I’m supposed to tell her, she told me this exciting news that someone has asked her out and she kinda liked this guy so of course she said yes."

"What did you do then?"

"Nothing. Pretended i was okay for the most part." Yunho sullenly laughs.

"Why? If you really love her, then you should've confessed to her right there and then."

"I can't, because that guy who asked her out was a very close friend.”

"Did your friend know you had a thing for her?" Yunho looks down on his feet, beneath the clear waters, admiring the veneer like clarity of the water to see his friend’s sincerity through their reflection.

"Yes. He's actually the first one to know. He's been all over her for months, apparently. "

"And you?"

"Maybe over a year?" Mingi paused for a while, frustration now evident on his face.

"And then what happened?

"They became a couple soon after. They seemed really happy so I just kinda rooted for them on the sidelines. And just like that we drifted off after graduation - _ah_ , remembering all this makes me want to beat myself for being so pathetic.”

"That sounded so cliché to be honest but loving is never pathetic, Yunho. What's pathetic is that you wasted so much time with these kinds of people who deserved zero of it. What happened to "bros before hoes?"

"I know, but they were my friends."

"Real friends respect each other, Yunho.” Mingi continues. “Can you try not giving a fuck to undeserving people anymore and start prioritizing your own happiness instead? You're not going to hell by shunning toxic people out of your life, Yunho. Just figure out what matters to you and let the rest go."

Mingi never fails to shut him up with his level of introspect. He has always admired how the other makes everything seemed so easy.

"What?" Yunho smiles at the other’s feigned composure. Mingi was clearly upset over his sorry love story and he truly appreciates that.

"So how about you, you seemed like an expert on the love department. Care to share your story then?”

"To be honest, I've never had someone before. I'm just being rational with you that's all."

Well that was quite a revelation. Yunho was surprised.

"Shut up, you're just making me feel better."

"No, for real, I've had a few crushes before but that's just about it. I've never committed to anyone yet."

"Why? I mean, you seemed _uh_ , okay? Like you're _uh_ , tall and your face? A-and I guess you're funny?" Telling someone they are attractive have never been this challenging and while Yunho thinks he can avert his face towards the other side of the river, his ears seems to have minds of their own on how it's turning red all over.

_Mingi, well, he's alright._

"Ah, you think I'm hot." the other said, more of a statement rather than a question.

"I think you're being annoying. Anyway, back to the subject." Yunho clears his throat. "So, no relationships at all? Flings? _Uhm_ , hook-ups? Hook-ups _with feelings_? "

"Do I really look like the type to sleep around?"

Yunho shrugs.

"As much as I am flattered Yunho-ah, I don't, okay? I take my relationships seriously." There was something about Mingi's statement that made him feel warm inside. He found himself heave a sigh of relief as well, when he realized he's been holding his breath for some time already.

When did he become interested in the affairs of Mingi's love life again?

"I just simply wanted that soul mate kind of thing you know." Mingi said.

"That sounds simple and all until you wait for an eternity for them to happen.”

"But not impossible right?"

_Is it?_

"Okay hopeless romantic, so what are you going to do when you suddenly find that person?"

“’Course I won't let them go and I won't ever give up on them." Mingi pauses. "As a sign of commitment, I’d probably give them a ring too. Just like yours."

"My what?” The waterfall now cascades backward and the stallions began running across the river as if something’s coming for them.

“A ring. Just like what your father gave to you.”

Yunho looks at his forefinger on instinct; his heart skipped a beat when he saw nothing.

_I-_

The first thing he looked for the moment his eyes opened was his father's ring that he would normally place on his bed side table. Yunho settled down on his bed just to find it there, sitting adjacent his phone. He wore the ring on impulse, relishing the feeling of it around his fingers as he bids a silent prayer to his father while he recovers from the remnants of his dream.

There is always something about his dreams that always keeps his emotions on a roller coaster; it could sometimes persist the entire day. It’s been more than a week since his fateful interaction with San, Yeosang and Mingi - his lucid friends, as what he would like to call them. Apparently, they are all in his reality now and coincidentally, they share the same attributes, same faces, same mannerisms, _the same everything_ that they are literally the same people minus the ethereal landscapes, the trippy imageries, Mingi’s cold eyes, Mingi’s rage…

Right. Yunho is now in his reality where his lucid best friend is nowhere near his real self and dreaming about him last night makes him yearn for him more than usual.

"As previously discussed, modern approaches are developed for socio-economic dynamics based around competition between five ‘utopias’ namely. Capitalism, socialism, civil liberty, nature, and nationalism.”

Yunho couldn't keep his legs from shaking under his desk (another habit of his) while he gnaws the other end of his pen. Today will be the semi-annual dance club tryouts he’ll be joining a few hours after his last class of the day. Just thinking about performing in front of a crowd always gives him the rush he had missed for so long. But the level of anticipation today is like the first time he auditioned during middle school where he performed a 90’s pop dance he choreographed by himself with the help of his mother’s exercise DVD’s.

"Before we dive in to the different analytical approaches to the evolution of socio-political and economic systems, let us first understand the concept of utopia. What is it? Is it attainable? Is there really such a thing as the 'perfect economy'?”

"Utopia is an imaginary place or state of things in which everything is perfect." The professor shifted sideways as he clicks the presentation to the next slide.

"While some of you might think this is the same with the word Eutopia, then you are wrong. Can anyone tell me what is the difference between the two?"

"Uh, their spelling, sir?"

"F for funny Jinhwan. Nice try though. Anyone? Alright, let's discuss this shortly before we end the class." Somehow the topic piqued his interest so Yunho finds himself getting distracted, making him a lot less nervy for tonight’s event.

"Eutopia, means a good place. It is a real place based on idealism. On the other hand, Utopia, by definition is a fantasy. A perfect world. Just like the stuff you see in movies. A kind of world you create in your dreams."

_Dreams.Fantasies._

"The question is, is it economically possible to achieve these social ideals?" Collective whispers from the students were heard before their professor continues.

"The answer is yes and no. Yes, we can achieve _Eu_ topia." The professor said, giving further emphasis on the word.

" A Eutopic society is not perfect but is ideal for people who share the same concept of perfection. It is a good place of well-being as a practical aspiration."

"On the other hand, Utopia- _with the ‘u’_ , as it is possible to achieve in theory; this kind of world can never truly exist.

"Sir, with our advancing methodologies, do you think it is still impossible for a perfect society to exist?" One student from the front asks.

"An economic reason for why a utopia is impossible is that it is innate for us to have top and bottom societies. In a perfect civilization, we need to achieve a certain level of society where there is zero work required by the people in order to achieve optimum equality. It also doesn't necessarily mean that when a society advances, it would also approach a utopia."

"One should also realize that no matter how perfect it is, a utopia could very well be another's dystopia. Just to put it simply, one person's dream and fantasy can be another person's nightmare."

The last few statements of his professor stuck with him the entire afternoon. Indeed, he did made sense. Dreaming could be well rooted to a person's will for perfection. Dreaming gives us the power to imagine the world we want to live in. But then if we aspire too intently and letting our ambitions be our stimuli, our selfishness following our dreams may have consequences in the end.

In this perplexing situation where he’s at, Yunho can relate to it on both ways. One is his desire to live in his dream as a form of escape. A dream he can create for the sole purpose of coping up from his grief. But then the nightmare comes in when too much of the good dreams mess up his reality in return. And whatever metaphysical phenomenon he’s in right now makes it even worse, taking its toll on his sanity.

“Yunho, you good?”

“H-huh? Yeah,” Yunho snapped away from his thoughts as he looks back at his friend, worry written all over the other’s face.

“You’ll be okay, dude. You got this. They’ve got nothing against our Gwangju Dance Monster.”

“ _Oh my fu- god!_ shut up! I haven’t heard that godforsaken name in years!” Of course he takes pride of that name, but that was way _way_ back when they were still young and stupid little kids.

“What’s wrong? You were so cool back then, _Gwangju Dance Monster_ ,”

“Get out.”

Wooyoung’s lithe physique manages to pull him inside the dance studio as soon as they arrived. The place was impressively spacious, they even get to place some light benches around the room for the audience’s viewing pleasure. Wooyoung had been very accommodating so far, carrying him around, all hyped up as he introduced him to every possible person he knew inside the studio.

“Yunho?” an all too familiar voice called him from the back. It was San.

The smaller guy claps his hand in excitement as he pulls him to a solid bro-hug that felt both nice and nostalgic. He almost forgot that San is also a member of the dance club. With his all -black ensemble, sleeve-less top, track pants and a cap, he does carry himself like a pro.

“I’m so glad to see you! Are you here for the auditions?”

“Yeah”

“What- you should’ve told me you dance too!”

“Hey Yunho what are - _oh,”_ Wooyoung’s energy died down the moment he came face to face with San, with a look so priceless Yunho wished he can capture right at the moment and store for his future advances.

“Oh- so you know Wooyoung too?” San asks. Yunho glanced at his friend whose mouth is gaping more severely than it already was.

“Yes, we’re actually childhood friends. We were even on the same dance group back when we were in middle school up to high school. He’s the one who invited me over to audition.”

“That’s great! Well good luck Yunho, Looks like to me you’re gonna ace it.”

“Nah, I feel a bit out of practice though, but I’ll try my best.”

“I can’t wait for you to be a part of our club. Catch you both later!” There was a strange, somewhat playful glint from San’s eyes before he left that made Wooyoung blink twice from his daze, face warm, dark pink dusting his cheeks _and god he’s so whipped._

“See? He totally knows you.”

“He knows my name,”

“Yeah and since that’s finally established, would you like to perhaps, buy me a drink after this?”

“Name your price, Jeong Yunho. I will be your loyal servant.”

Yunho bursts out a hearty laugh and immediately sends Wooyoung back to his group so that he could briefly prepare. People start flocking in the studio as they wait for the program to start. Getting all the lost tension back, Yunho gladly reunites with Wooyoung as he sits on the designated bench near to his friend and his crew.

“Oh look,” Wooyoung elbows him from the side, pointing his lips forward, across to where they were sitting. “Song Mingi is here too.”

There he is by the entrance, in his black track suit, tall and well built, effortlessly standing out from the rest.

“You know my heart is with Choi San right? But my gay ass tells me that Song Mingi is looking extra hot these days. I don’t know if it’s just me being shameless or it’s the whole bad boy concept he’s been on to but oh man,”

It was all pleasant and friendly in his dreams so checking out Mingi has never really occurred to him, _did it not?_

He got a bit distracted that he almost didn’t catch Yeosang, giving him a small wave as he squeeze right past the growing crowd from where they came from. Mingi follows suit, bored and indifferent. Yunho smiles and waves back at them as the two settled next to him on the bench, with Yeosang sitting beside him.

“I didn’t expect to see you here today, Yunho. Are you joining the auditions?”

“Yeah, how about you?”

“No we’re just here for San, _as usual_. Have you seen him already?”

“Yes. Actually, he saw me first.”

“That’s nice. Are you here all by yourself?”

“Oh, no, I’m here with my friend, Yeosang, meet-“

“Jung Wooyoung, right?” Yeosang interrupts, extending a hand across Yunho towards Wooyoung, who received it with a slightly puzzled look. “I’m Kang Yeosang.”

“ _Uh_ , yeah, how’d you know?”

“Of course you’re Jung Wooyoung, you’re that boy on the sax, right?”

“Oh my god can we not talk about the dark times?” Yeosang modestly laughs at the boy he just roasted. Wooyoung cowers from that one humiliating incident that is apparently, quite popular amongst the whole music club.

“I’m just kidding. And besides, Hongjoong-hyung has practically adopted you; it’s hard to miss on your presence. Anyway, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too Yeosang. So would you guys finish the whole program? It’ll probably take the whole night with all these participants. My guy here’s on the latter part of the line up so we’ll be staying up quite late.”

“Great. Mingi and I will watch and support you then.” Yunho can’t help but to glance on his periphery. Mingi sits comfortably hunched on the bench, clearly uninterested, frigid eyes glued on his phone.

”We’re kind of used to it. Dance practices usually finish late on club periods and since it’s conveniently on Fridays, we kind of just hang out with San and his group after. Mingi here finish athletics training a bit late too.”

“Oh, so he still does track? How about the, _you know?_ “ Wooyoung silently motions to his own legs. Yeosang knowingly nods in response. “He’s currently on rehab now but I heard he’s getting better with his sprints, he’s almost close to his PRs pre-accident so I guess that’s great progress for him.”

Wooyoung and Yeosang oddly, hit it off quite easily, where in Wooyoung’s naivete fuels Yeosang’s satirical tirades. It was the weird kind of interaction he never needed but nonetheless, he’s happy to see. This is his dream, materializing in front of his eyes and he couldn’t help but smile ingenuously at the two. Yeosang ended up sitting next to Wooyoung and his group as he articulately educates them with the works of his violin he had brought with him after music class.

It has been an hour of a variety of performances and Yunho struggles to calm himself as his turn comes close. And it doesn’t really help that Song Mingi is now beside him, with just their bags in between. Yunho mentally laughs in irony, as he recalls last night’s dream with just him and Mingi and how they just talk comfortably close with each other.

One more performer left and he will be called after. Yunho fidgets with his ring, pushing and pulling it off of his finger. His legs began shaking aggressively in anticipation. He was too overwhelmed with all the great performances he had witnessed tonight that his remaining confidence goes down the drain. What if his choreography sucks? What if his ‘too tall’ stature doesn’t cut it? What if he can’t meet San’s expectation? And Wooyoung, who’s been looking up to him, what if he’s not good enough anymore, what if-

“Would you stop that?” Yunho got startled from the voice so deep; it successfully ends all of his unwanted thoughts.

“What?”

“Your legs. The whole bench is shaking and it’s annoying.” Yunho realizes it and consciously stops both of his legs from moving.

“S-sorry. It kind of gets to my nerves.”

“Jeong Yunho-ssi,” Yunho staggered when his name was finally called by the panel that he clumsily leaves all his stuff on the bench.

“Just do what you have to do and don’t give a fuck to what other people say.” Mingi said with his voice audible enough for only Yunho to hear. “Figure out what matters to you and let the rest go."

How is it possible that these are the exact same words Mingi said to him previously in his dream? It may have been roughly said, yet the tenderness he felt was no different.

“Thanks,” Yunho smiles in appreciation before he approached the panel of judges.

Yunho finds his spot in the center and takes a deep breath. Mingi’s words stuck with him, as he focuses to himself and only to himself. He relaxes all the joints from the unwanted tension and gently sways the nerves away to gain back his groove. He got this _._ Yunho chants to himself. _Let the rest go._ And as soon as the beat dropped, Yunho went off.

It was almost midnight when the program ended. Yunho and Wooyoung decided to just buy their dinner on a nearby convenience store on their way back to their apartment and as promised, Wooyoung bought him drinks.

“Dude, I’ve said it before and I’m saying it again, you’re the best.”

“Are we still talking about my performance or something else- like you kissing my ass right now to become your personal wing man to Choi San?”

“Hey, I’m still kind of upset you didn’t even bother telling me about the whole restaurant fiasco. But seriously, you did absolutely great. I mean you always were but your moves were exceptionally clean and fluid now, I feel like it’s been so long since the last time I’ve seen you dance.”

“I don’t know but I felt a bit rusty with isolating though but thank you, Woo.”

“Whatever, all I know is you did so well, even Song Mingi kept his eyes on you the entire time.”

“I’ve learned something cool today.”

“Oh yeah? What is it?”

Mingi shuffles from his seat on the ground as he sits closer to Yunho. They are on that same cliff again. Except, the view is incredibly breath-taking at night, with the majestic sight of the midnight blue sky that is virtually cloudless, making the vibrant purples and greens of the northern lights come through beautifully.

“Something about the possibility of a perfect world. They call it Utopia.”

“That sounds interesting. So, is there such a thing then?”

“Here’s the catch though- _but please bear with me on this one_. There’s Utopia, with a _‘u ‘_ and Eutopia with an _‘eu’._ They are two different societies apparently.”

“That sounded like some literary person butchered the hell out of a word or something, but yeah go on.”

“Basically, a _Eu_ topia is an ideal environment that can possibly exist as long as the society you’re in shares the same aspirations as yours. On the other hand, _U_ topia is a perfect society. This is the kind of world that makes up our dreams and fantasies. In a nutshell, it is a perfect world that can never exist. Think of Atlantis, for example.”

“That seems promising.” 

"Yeah, but I’d probably still want to live in a Eutopia though. Living in perfection honestly scares me plus, I’m just being realistic. Humanity thrives in diversity. One person cannot possibly have the same exact principles as the other. Can you imagine you live in a world so perfect that a single disagreement could cause anarchy?

"But being in a utopia sounds magical doesn't it? What if, " There was a short pause as Mingi gazes towards the dancing lights of the Aurora. "What if you've got the power to create your own perfect world?"

"That would be wonderful and all but then what happens next? Humans cannot possibly stagnate just to remain in perfection."

“But with a sole purpose to pursuit happiness, you can live through it, right? Is it that bad to become selfish for once, Yunho?"

_Even if it costs you something in return_

"What do you mean?"

" I- I just dont want to go. I just want to stay here, with all of you and with Jongho. Don’t you wanna stay here with me?"

" I do, Mingi, but I just cannot possibly-"

"I don't want to leave this place.” Mingi leans back, basking in the cold gust of the night.

“This is my own perfect world. This is my utopia. This is where I belong. This is where I can just dream and be happy,”

"Y-you,” Yunho finally looks at Mingi. The cold breeze creeping uncomfortably in his entire body as realization dawns upon him.

“Were you always been aware that you are dreaming?"

Mingi looks at him endearingly, lips turning upwards, forming a soft smile.

" Yes, Yunho. In fact, this is my dream-- and you are inside of it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


	4. 4

The gust of the autumn wind feels extra chilly on that Saturday morning. Yunho found himself on a corner cafe as he waited for a very good friend to spend the entire day.

It didn't take long until said friend arrives, jet black hair, neatly brushed up for a casual Saturday, in a laid back suit and sneakers.

"You're late Dr. Park. I could've died you know."

"Sorry but I don't accept emergencies on my day off." Yunho acknowledges the sass as he grins at the older, standing up to receive the other’s hug.

"Ah, it's great to see you. Damn, what has been your mom feeding you."

"Probably something you can't have, something _like_ , sleep maybe?"

"Life sucks on the other side, man. Glad you didn't cross the tunnel."

Yunho smiles dearly at his friend he has missed for so long. But he wasn't just a childhood friend. Park Seonghwa is like the older brother he wished he had. They grew up as neighbors and his family has practically raised Yunho when he was little when both of his parents are still working on full-time.

Yunho has always looked up to Seonghwa that he was even swayed to dream of becoming a doctor as well. And it gave him so much pride that this _hyung_ is now an accomplished one and has achieved so much at a young age.

"By the way, where did you get that vacuum cleaner you sent me? That is like a fucking work of the gods. I’m telling you, my apartment has never been dust-free for like the beginning of time- not until I’ve used it."

"It's like the nimbus 2000 of all hand-held vacuums ever created so you’re welcome."

"Okay nerd what did I tell you about your obsession with Harry Potter references? You won’t get a pretty date with that."

"Says the doctor with a social life of a hermit."

"Okay first of all, my two-hour sleep is making me extra sensitive right now. Can we just not talk about work today? Pretend I'm just your preppy good-looking college friend who is not constantly worried about his work-life balance and who isn’t on a thirty-six hour shift starting tomorrow with a cerebral artery aneurysm surgery assist in between."

It’s funny that it would only take a passionate rant from Seonghwa to convince him that changing his career path is one of the best decisions he has ever made in his life.

Morning passed quickly as they try to catch up with each other. And even if they’ve always been in touch, Seonghwa appeared to be thrilled to hear a lot from Yunho- their hometown from after they left, their families, Yunho's new school, their restaurant, Wooyoung, of course how could he forget his _little munchkin_ Wooyoung, his favorite _dongsaeng_ apparently and nearly everything he had missed for so long. Seonghwa seems like he's been caged inside a dungeon that is in desperate need of a social life so Yunho made sure to spoil his _hyung_ for all the lost time.

"It's good you joined the dance club you know. Extra-curricular activities for sure make college life a bit forgiving."

"It makes a lot easier for me to cope up too."

“I know, I know." Seonghwa smiles softly. “So how has it been helping you so far?"

"Having more friends makes it better."

"I'm glad to know. So that means better sleep? No more of those weird dreams you've been telling me about?"

Seonghwa has been aware of his condition ever since he was diagnosed of Comorbid insomnia; a result from anxiety and trauma from his father's passing. Seonghwa trains to become a neurologist and Yunho has always been grateful of Seonghwa's professional knowledge about it.

"Actually, I've been meaning to ask you about a lot of things. It's been weighing me down ever since we moved here. I'm sorry if I'm bringing this up right now even if you you don’t want to talk about work and stuff."

"No, go ahead Yunho." Seonghwa caught the younger’s uneasiness so he shifted on his side, giving his undivided attention to the boy. “I’d like to be of help. Is it about those dreams? Are they getting worse?"

"I really don’t know. I don't even know where to start, hyung. I haven't told this to anyone –not even to Wooyoung."

"How is it different from before?"

"Remember those people I see in my dreams? Those that I’ve been telling you about? They're real. They're real people and I met all of them at school."

"You mentioned you're currently on retraction right? It might just be hallucinations as a side effect. You know that sleep meds can give you psychological dependence right?"

"I know that, but this is -I don’t know, everything is just so crazy. They are the exact same people in my dreams. The three of them are really good friends too in reality. God they even have the same names just like in my dreams. It’s like whenever I am dreaming, it's as if I'm living in this parallel world with them. "

" _Hm_ , that's quite strange indeed. How are they in reality? Their traits? Their personalities?"

"Believe it or not they are literally the same people. I could even tell their real-life interests from my dreams and all are coincidentally accurate. Conveniently, we have common friends and acquaintances too that somehow brought us all together.

"Okay, that is definitely crazy.” Yunho frowns in worry, making the doctor chuckle.

"Oh! Sorry I don’t mean it like that. You’re not crazy, _crazy_ okay, it's- crazy, like in a ‘holy shit that’s awesome!’ kind of crazy.”

"I’m trying to keep myself in check every single day but the dreams are getting weirder every time I couldn't tell how long my sanity could even take it."

"Okay, tell me more Yunho. You'll be fine. We'll figure this out."

Yunho have always appreciated Seonghwa's insight on a lot of things. It also helps that his experience in psychology helped him to be at the same caliber as Seonghwa’s, making it easier for him to grasp his situation, scientifically. 

The doctor remained open to possibilities that involve not only medical facts but also unconventional considerations such as metaphysical occurrences that are often ignored just because.

"So you're saying one of them had been constantly connecting with you in your dreams?"

"Yes, he's the one closest to me. But in reality, he's a completely different person."

"How is he in your dreams?"

How to describe Mingi, Yunho ponders.

_Simple_

_Straightfoward_

Mingi caught his gaze from where he's at, sparkling eyes forming into crescents, the corner of his lips sliding upward, forming his signature toothy grin, contagious –breathtaking even, it made his heart swell unusually.

_He knows me more than I do myself_

_Like we are connected_

_Like a, -how do you call that again?_

"Hyung? Yah! You're burning the meat." The boy instantly flips the thick slab of meat from the grill, startling him even more as the meat sizzles loudly, splashing fat and marinade everywhere.

It was slightly humid that day, clouds slightly overcast. It wasn't exactly dry as balmy wind passes mildly on his bare arms. It was a good day to spend in the outdoors. They are on a fancy -looking back yard, aesthetically landscaped with a glass patio on top of the outdoor grill he's currently at, as he mans the grill while Jongho stays by his side, busy talking about his upcoming basketball meet while munching on the scraps Yunho feeds him.

San, Mingi and Wooyoung stays by the lounge chairs across the lawn, minding whatever business they have other than goofing around. Yeosang served himself helpful though in their mini lunch party as he busies himself prepping the tables like a total mother.

Yunho went inside the house to get more meat from the kitchen. The house has a lot of contemporary and minimalist components that make it look modish and expensive that is fit for a modern family. The unfamiliar space made Yunho wander around, unconsciously slipping through the empty corridors of the well-structured home. Upon the walls and the chest of drawers were photographs of a family with two boys so obviously loved.

Mingi and Jongho's photos adorn the walls with a few family portraits. Jongho take's after their father's strong and manly features while Mingi got his mother's fox-like gaze. Yunho finds himself skimming through all the photos and he couldn't help but long for his father and all the good times that were gone too soon.

"Enjoying too much I see. Didn't you know you almost burned the entire house?”

"Oh shit I forgot about the grill!"

"Nah, Woo took over don't worry."

“I just can’t help it. You without your front teeth is such a showstopper." Yunho suppressed a laugh as Mingi clumsily pushes the said photo, face-down.

"So, this is your family?"

" _Mhm_. Was my family."

"What do you mean?"

"My parents got divorced. Jongho's the only one I've got."

_Yes, Mingi is simple._

"Who are you living with then?"

"Our mom. Sometimes our dad. Sometimes Jongho and I will get separated for a month. My brother’s still a minor so, _yeah,_ some custody shit. Honestly, this whole arrangement sucks. I can't wait for the day I can take my brother with me and away from those people.

_Straightforward_

"Mingi ‘those people’ are your parents."

"The moment they’ve decided to sign the papers ended it for me."

"How can you say that? There must be a very strong reason why things didn't work between your parents. I'm sure they love you the same as before they got separated."

Mingi snickers in apparent disbelief. "Wha- love? Keeping a lie for so many years, giving us false hopes of a perfect family and made us look stupid and pathetic in the eyes of many people, -you call that love?"

_Stubborn_

"Or they could've buried the problem away from you because they're scared of hurting the both of you. Didn't that occur to you even once?"

"You know what, forget it. You wouldn't understand."

_Impulsive_

"Of course you wouldn't understand because you're _so_ fortunate Yunho. You didn't have to deal with this kind of problem in your life because your father's dead- "Mingi suddenly falters in utter realization.

_Selfish_

"Do you think I wanted him to die?"

"Yunho I-"

"Do you think it is easier for me, Mingi? Calling me lucky because I don't have to deal with any parental problems because one of them is already dead?" Yunho pauses, biting his lip to contain his tears from escaping his wavering eyes.

"You know I would trade my soul to the devil just to bring my father back. And here you are hating on something I wish I could have right now." Yunho unconsciously flicks his thumb against his forefinger, against the shank of his father's ring, aiming to ease the tension boiling inside of him.

"I didn't mean to-"

"Your parents mean well Mingi. If you wouldn’t just let your selfishness get the best of you, you would understand."

Yunho couldn't recall the last few bits of that dream. All he could remember was his lids were heavy of tears the moment he opened his eyes as anger and guilt consumed him.

The sudden loss of his father's ring made it even worse as it made him feel empty and unsecured with his emotions. It has been a week since he have lost his prized possession and having it in his dream relives the warmth it provided him.

It has also been a week since the last time Mingi appeared in his dreams. The last one being the very first time they had such argument. Lately, his dreams with Mingi would always leave him hanging with cryptic messages. Dreams are meant to be strange, but lately most of them involved Mingi subtly connecting to his reality.

"Wooyoung-ah, don't you think Yunho's a bit gloomy lately? Was he in some kind of trouble or does he have a problem he's shared with you that I don't know?"

Mrs. Jeong asks the boy from across the counter as he looks at how his son keeps on spacing out while doing the inventory.

"He does seem a bit weary auntie but I guess it's just because it's the exams week.”

"Has he been sleeping well?"

"He'd tell me he does but sometimes I would catch him dozing off in the library."

“I hope he's okay but thank you for always looking after him Wooyoung-ah. He’s always been our pillar ever since his father died. He would never show it to anyone but I know it has always been the hardest for him."

"Don't worry auntie, looks like to me joining the dance club was a big help."

“I’m so glad to hear that. I hope he's making a lot of friends too."

"Oh he does, auntie he-"

And by the grace of all that is holy, there by the entrance is Choi San -and Song Mingi and Kang Yeosang who, gave him the tiniest wave he almost failed to notice because his focus is planted to none other but his crush in his unusual boyfriend look with his light blue dress shirt tucked in beige jeans with white sneakers and Wooyoung never felt helpless in his life.

"Oh, _uh_ speaking of which auntie there's-there they are." Wooyoung staggers, trying his best to lock gazes with Yeosang and not to San's sharp ones, with that eyebrow slit that speaks all kinds of sin. "What are you guys doing here?"

_'Stupid! What else do you do in a restaurant?'_

"I don't know Wooyoung, buy some clothes maybe."

Yeosang laughs, dodging the most adorable death glares from Wooyoung.

“We just wanted some good food and it seems like a good company is a bonus too." San beams at him with the softest of smiles he thought he could melt on the spot.

"Oh-" Wooyoung gestures towards Mrs.Jeong who appeared beside him." By the way this is Yunho's mom. Auntie, they're our friends from campus."

"It's nice to finally meet you Mrs. Jeong. We are also your regular customers." San says.

"Aw that's so sweet of you. Thank you for your support. I'm so happy Yunho made good friends at school. Not to mention good-looking ones too! And oh-!”

Mrs. Jeong went to the ever static Mingi, as she tiptoes and eyeballs the other's stature.

"Ah, how cute. Yunho finally got himself a tall friend." Yeosang and San chuckles at Wooyoung whose eyes are about to bawl out in disbelief.

"Have a seat now boys, steak is on the menu tonight -my treat of course." The boys clap in delight as they simultaneously thanked Mrs. Jeong.

"Help yourselves, I'm just gonna call Yunho at the back so he could join you guys to dinner.”

"If I knew you’d be coming, I should've invited Hongjoong hyung over."

"For all I know he's at his own little pothole right now. The semestral art show had been keeping him extra busy lately. "

"Ah, I remember it's that time of the year he goes on full hermit mode.

"Exactly."

"So _uh,_ you guys are close? Sorry I think I missed the party." San suddenly asks from across the table with outwardly watchful eyes, making Wooyoung cower from his normal chipper self.

"We just kinda hit it off during the auditions and besides, it’s hard to miss on him because apparently, he’s some kind of celebrity within our exclusive circle."

" _Urgh,_ dude please can we not-" San leans closer to the table making it extra hard for him to avert his gaze from San’s fiery ones.

"Hey Sangie, you're making him uncomfortable. You know what, don't mind him." San smiles at him, wondering if those sweet ass dimples were even there before or he's just too smitten to notice the important details.

"How come we never talk to each other during club meetings?"

"Beats me." San groans as he ignores the now chuckling Yeosang.

"I-the club is quite big right and _uh_ , we're on different groups, so yeah- I didn't get the chance to approach you... or something." Wooyoung stumbles with his words.

"But you're like virtually friends with everyone -well, except me."

_Wait was Choi San, pouting?_

"I-it's, I'm sorry. You were technically my senior so I-I get shy most of the time."

"Oh so do I scare you?"

"No! O-of course not."

 _Oh please, you're just making my heart flip every time that's what it is_.

"Then let's be friends, Wooyoung."

"S-sure, that would be cool." Yeosang rolls his eyes as he breaks away from the obvious keenness shared between the two.

The blonde diverts his attention instead to Mingi sitting across of him. He noticed his eyes wander behind the counter and there he finds Yunho, in all his six foot plus glory, hunched down while Mrs.Jeong is on her tippy toes, squishing her fully grown son's cheeks playfully. While the sight of Yunho in his big baby energy almost made him cry, Yeosang didn't miss that tinge of longing in Mingi's supposedly cold eyes.

"Christmas break is coming soon Mingi, are you planning to go back home?" Yeosang asks.

"Maybe. I don't know yet."

"How about Jongho?"

"I’ll probably visit. But only for him." Yeosang smiled dearly, knowing Mingi enough not to push it further.

"Food’s here ladies." Yunho appears on their side, balancing trays with a single arm as he lays the dishes gently on the table.

"Whoa! These look so good. We should invite auntie to eat with us." Wooyoung says.

"It's okay, she just left a while ago. She was kinda on a rush because she needs to fetch my brother from cram school. I'm on closing duty today though so take your time."

"But are you okay, Yunho? You look kinda pale." San asks.

"Oh, I'm fine don't worry." Yunho instinctively sits next to the empty chair beside Mingi, too tired to even think consciously about how the other has been affecting him ever since he saw him today.

_When was the last time again?_

"I wasn't able to sleep much since it's the exams week that's all." Or it could also be something that involves his mental crisis.

Or like wanting to apologize to someone who's here but not really?

"Maybe you should take some of your meds back." Wooyoung says.

“What meds? Are you sick, Yunho?" Yeosang asks worriedly.

"Oh no, I'm not. I was diagnosed of insomnia after my dad passed away. I was on sleep therapy though and I’m better now so it's nothing serious, really. Anyway, eat up!"

All of them thanked the food before diving in the hearty dishes splayed on the table. Yunho smiles as he watches Wooyoung silently, looking more comfortable around San than before. Whether San is aware or not of the obvious, he's been very casual and friendly around Wooyoung. No playful, _flirty_ advances whatsoever and he truly appreciated that.

Yeosang seems to enjoy the food a lot as he gorges on the tender meat, one after the other. Yunho then glances beside him, at Mingi who's in his own little world as he occasionally spaces out while chewing his food ever so slowly.

_Well, that's cute._

"I-" Yunho shifted to Mingi. "It's nice to put some sauce on the meat you know."

"Ah, really?" Yunho was a bit stunned by the response.

"Y-yeah. _Uhm_ do you like spicy

"Yeah."

"Here let me,” Yunho reached for the selection of sauces in the middle of the table and made some kind of special concoction on a separate bowl. On his periphery, he can tell the other watches him intently.

"I like spicy too, so I like to mix these two." Yunho then drizzles the sauce combo on Mingi's steak.

"There try it."

Mingi still wears that usually stern face but it somehow brightened up as soon as he tasted the meat with the spicy sauce.

"Good?"

"Yeah. It's very good. Thank you." Ah, so he can be civil too. Yunho was relieved.

"How about you Yeosang, how was the food?" Yunho caught Yeosang smiling rather fondly at them.

"Ah, meat is very good and tender. More tender than this _lovely_ atmosphere."

"What?"

"God I feel so single."

"Huh?" San blurts confusedly while munching on a piece of meat.

" Whatever. Just eat up you bunch of idiots!"

It was a great dinner, slightly chaotic but fun nonetheless. If it weren't the middle of the week with a stream of deadlines here and there, they would've stayed much longer. Of course, Yunho has to do all the clean up so he had to sadly sent his friends away before it gets too late and blame each other tomorrow morning for missed classes.

"Are you sure you're not gonna need our help? We can at least wash the dishes.” San offers.

"No really, I can finish this fast I promise. Besides, Wooyoung's with me. He's gonna help me with the dishes, right?"

"Do I really have to?" Wooyoung whines on the side in which Yunho takes it as a yes.

“Thanks for dropping by." Yunho says.

"We should really do this often. Let's hangout after club period." The blonde suggests.

"Yeah, we can invite Hongjoong-hyung too."

"Perfect! I’m sure he’s got some great stories to tell.”

"Hey!"

"Anyway, good night you guys, and see you on our Saturday gig, Wooyoungie." If this night could get any longer, Yunho swears Wooyoung will get a heart attack.

"I-sure. Yeah, see you San."

"Is it considered cockblocking if I go hang out with you guys on Saturday too?" Yeosang laughs at Wooyoung who's about to combust while San playfully swings his arms around the mischievous blonde, as they finally exits the restaurant.

"Thank you for the food." Deep voice suddenly taking Yunho out of his trance.

"Oh- I- don't mention it." Yunho falters in response. "Thank you, too."

_And I'm sorry for what I've said. For imposing, and calling you selfish without knowing you completely. I'm sorry._

"For what?" Mingi shifts from his side so they are now facing each other, at a very comfortable eye level as Mingi fairs with him almost perfectly.

"For your short pep talk last time. It really helped me in my performance."

 _Or alternatively:_ _For saving me when I was on my lowest._

"Ah, that. Don't mention it."

"Okay,"

"We should probably go now because- " Mingi trails with his words. “Because you need some rest and some good sleep too."

"Ah yeah, thanks I will."

There was a series of awkward goodbyes that followed before Mingi finally leaves the restaurant.

"Okay, Jeong Yunho what was that?" Wooyoung coos by the door.

"I'm not the one who's got a date on Saturday." Yunho spats back.

"It's not a date. He just invited me _officially_ to watch their street performance on Saturday."

"Whatever you say, _Wooyoungie_." Yunho laughs as the shorter boy stomps back inside and starts to reluctantly clean the table.

Yunho then felt his phone vibrate from his pocket.

**Seonghwa**

I'll call you tomorrow as soon as I finish my report with my senior. There are some interesting things I'd like to discuss with you on your case. Anyway, rest well Yunho-ah. Good night.

Yunho found himself on the staircase of an abandoned building. He climbs his way up until he reaches the door to the rooftop.

The horizon turned warm, with a tinge of indigo as the sun slowly hides at a lone skyscraper.

There he found Jongho, the red head in his own space, sitting comfortably by the edge. Yunho made his presence known before approaching their youngest so as not to startle the boy.

"Hey, what are you doing all by yourself?"

"I just wanted some fresh air and the view of the sunset." Yunho wanted to join the boy on the ledge but just by looking how incredulously high they were makes his gut simmer in fear. He decided to just lean on the ledge beside Jongho instead.

"Yeah, it's pretty nice."

There was a moment of comfortable silence as they enjoy the beauty of the sky now in pastels of orange and red, accompanied by the cool sunset breeze that hums silently in harmony.

“Hyung, do you miss your dad?" Jongho asked, voice ever so soothing.

"Yes, very much."

"Me too. I miss my parents very much."

"O-oh that's-" It surprised him that Jongho appeared to be unexpectedly receptive about their family’s situation.

"They're the best parents one could ever have. Sadly, they got divorced a couple of years ago." There was a pregnant silence before the younger continues.

"My dad had an affair with another woman. Apparently my mother knows it too. What's even more appalling was the fact that they hid it from us for so long while people give us the side eye from something we are not even aware of. My brother didn't take it very well, obviously."

"I, on the other hand could only embrace the fact that my family will never be complete. I realized that for both my parents to be happy, they needed to go on their own ways and move forward. Besides, their love for us never changed."

"Mingi-hyung and I now live with our mom. I get to stay at our dad’s though, every other month. And that’s alright. We would eat out a lot and play basketball just like before. I also love the fact that I'm an older brother to a cute little sister too."

"May I know how was your brother then?"

"He didn't take it well at first. You see, my brother's really stubborn. It also didn't help that he was the first born and he felt that he needed to carry all the weight of it in his shoulders. But I do understand where he's coming from. Between the both of us, he has seen the worst on both our parents. He was so eager to bring our parents back that he failed to see the bigger picture –in which we can all still be happy despite of what happened.”

Yunho remembers one of his more recent dreams with Mingi -that one where he just wanted to stay in his dreams, in his utopia, in his own perfect world -away from his problems and away from his reality. Finally, Yunho understood. Just like him, he wanted to stay dreaming just to escape.

"Thank you for sharing this to me Jongho.”

"I've always trusted you hyung. And I trust you to take care of my brother as well - _oh_ and speaking of which," Jongho hands him a plastic bag.

"This is for you. My brother is really sorry for everything he has said to you."

Yunho couldn't help but smile foolishly from what he saw inside the bag: A soda, a bag of potato chips and a fruit sandwich.

All are his favorite items.

" _Uhm_ , I know my brother is an idiot sometimes but I also know he would've wanted to give you something better than a pack of convenience store goodies but I know he means well.”

Yunho laughs at the boy, "Let's go Jongho.” He concludes their small chat with a stretch.

“They're probably looking for us right now."

"But hyung, can we stay a bit longer? It's quite relaxing up here." About thirty plus stories from below, Yunho slowly looked down the high rise building as the city bustles from below. God, what is it about this boy and his thing for high places?

"There is no way this is relaxing Jongho. You couldn't even see the cars below us"

" _Uh_ , that's because there weren't? Hyung can't you see the beautiful grass field below?"

"Huh?" Confused, Yunho braved himself to look down again but still, no grass field to be seen.

"Can't you see? The field is so green. Look! There's even a bed of dandelions over there they look like cotton.”

Yunho instantly notice the void in Jongho's eyes, as if the boy was hypnotized. On impulse, Yunho went closer to Jongho as he saw him slowly nears the edge from where he sits.

"H-hey, Jongho..."

"I want to fall on it…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


	5. 5

Yunho found himself running up a stairs with Mingi who is ahead of him. It seems like a typical work day, on a bustling staircase packed with people on their office clothes and uniforms.

“Mingi slow down. Why are we even running?”

“We're gonna be late Yunho!”

“No we're not - _oh shit I’m sorry!”_ Yunho looks briefly at that random person he bumps into. "Why are we in a hurry?”

“Hyung is waiting for me! I’ve got a lot to tell him!”

“Who?” Yunho had the chance to catch his breath when he finally reached the end of the stairs. “Shit Mingi wait for me!”

As they approach a railroad stop, the street has gone empty of people. The light turns red as a signal to stop and the metal barrier begins to close but there's no sign of Mingi from stopping.

He wasn't planning to cross the railroad on a red light, was he?

The speeding train is fast approaching and Yunho could only yell from behind as Mingi jumps from the platform and runs across the tracks.

“Mingi!”

There was a brief moment where his head was clouded by the loud noise of the train passing through while the vibration resonated through the platform where he is standing. When the last wagon of the train have finally passed, Yunho rushes towards the barrier just to see Mingi on the other side of the tracks, still completely intact -the asshole even have the nerve to laugh while catching his breath.

Yunho's eyes then narrowed to the other person beside Mingi who looks utterly pleased by his idiotic friend’s deadly stunt. He didn’t need to take a closer look to recognize the other shorter male, with that striking blue hair and off-beat sense of style. It was a dead giveaway after all.

The all too familiar guy beams at him from afar, waving for him to come across.

"Yunho-ah! Let's go you big puppy!"

“Let's start from a medical stand point first.” Seonghwa said from the other end of the line. As promised, the doctor called Yunho the very next day.

“After ruling out a few psychological disorders associated to the symptoms you've somehow collected, I came up to this one: Depersonalization disorder.”

“It is a disorder in which the patient exhibits detachment in one's self. It is a type of dissociative disorder in which the person potentially disconnects with his reality.”

“Patients may feel changes around his environment, in which he sees as vague and dreamlike. They also show lack of emotion and physical responses to their world. Subjects often say that they're like an outside observer of their own thoughts. They would also describe it like they feel like they are trapped outside their reality, looking in.”

 _Trapped._ Yes, that is the exact word to describe that fleeting aura he would always feel around Mingi.

“I- I don’t know what to say, hyung. I couldn't exactly validate all these but everything you've just said is definitely fitting.”

“While the exact cause of this dissociative disorder isn't well understood, studies show that it may be associated with severe emotional stress and trauma - which is most likely the case since he survived a life threatening accident.”

“How about PTSD?”

“Well, post-traumatic stress disorder can also be associated to his case. But PTSD is more of a general term for dissociative disorders. Like you as an example. You had your case of PTSD as well that eventually developed to a sleeping disorder.”

“So now that I have shared with you a general idea about his possible psychological condition, this brings us to the other half of the problem: your dreams and all its oddities. But before we dive into details, please take everything with a grain of salt, Yunho. As a doctor, it is my responsibility to my profession to always and _only_ apply information with a solid scientific framework. But then sometimes, you have to open your eyes more and look at the possibilities our universe has to offer."

“I understand,”

“And since your case has indulged my curiosity, I kind of went overboard with my research.”

“What do you mean?”

“I tried to correlate my knowledge with neuroscience to astrophysics.”

“Neuroscience with astro - _what?_ W-wasn’t that a bit of a stretch?”

“It is. But you know, I realized the universe and the brain are almost similar in terms of their complexity. There's the galaxy network and the brain's neuronal network, right? Not only the intricacies of the brain and the cosmic web are similar, but so as their structural framework. It's just the scale of the universe that differs by the billions.”

“But then of course I couldn't have done it without some help. I consulted a physics major by the name of Eden Kim who's became a dear friend of mine after my pre-med days. He's currently pursuing astrophysics as a post graduate course. When I told him about your case, he was seriously thrilled about it. He said that similar cases like yours have already been documented back in the days.”

“Really? So I'm not the only one?”

“Yes. Quantum physics has been studied for so long. It has also been nullified many times as well. Applying quantum mechanics in any theory in physics usually ends up judged by the accuracy of its experimental predictions. That's why many people are still skeptical to incorporate this concept even to modern studies.”

“So you're saying that my dreams aren't just merely figments of my subconscious but also a result of some kind of phenomena?”

“That's right. Eden believes that your dreams aren’t just your subconscious unloading. Since we have already established that dreams are formed by all the networks of information stuck inside your subconscious, it is virtually impossible that one can dream of another person without at least meeting them prior the dream. Unless, they were just undiscovered aspects of you that manifested into different images, which is of course, not the case anymore. By the way, whenever you're dreaming, you are not lucid right?”

“Yes. I can remember most of the dreams but I can never control them.”

“Right so that leads us to Eden's another theory that whenever you are dreaming, your subconscious is joined by another subconscious due to some kind of mechanical phenomena that triggered this ‘entanglement.’ ”

“Alternatively, your dreams might also be a medium for a ‘lost’ subconscious which somehow gravitate towards your energy to communicate, hence, the boy you're in love with.”

“H-hey! I'm not in love with him.”

“And I'm a quack who preserves snake eggs on jars and put random leaves on people’s forehead for a living. Anyway, back to your boy – _I mean_ the Mingi guy. You've mentioned there was one dream where he told you _you_ were inside his dream where in fact that was yours, right?”

“Yes but the conversation and the images that followed after that were all gibberish and nonsense so I thought it's just like the usual dreams I had. Surprisingly, he never brought that up in the dreams that followed.”

“Well, that could've been the case but that could also be a rare point where both your parallel collides. You were aware that you’re dreaming at the time right?”

“Yes,”

“And so was he. So both your subconscious might have _consciously_ met during that time and like you’ve said everything went random and nonsense after that. That is because by quantum theory, it can only happen for a split second. Of course it translates to a longer time frame when you are in your dreams but you get my point.”

“So is it also possible that the reason we met in our dreams was also because there was that same kind of moment when our parallels made the crossover?”

“Yes, that is highly possible.”

“So does that also mean that San, Yeosang and Jongho were all information of Mingi’s subconscious transferred to mine?”

“Most likely.”

“But how? And also, why me?”

“That, I don't know. But probably some kind of astrophysical trigger Eden mentioned. Don’t worry, I still have a lot to discuss with him about it. Anyway, let's hangout very soon. He really wants to meet you too.”

“Thank you so much for this, hyung. This could have been too much to handle but you walked me through it and I was beyond relieved. I just really want to feel normal again.”

“I told you Yunho, you'll be fine. We'll figure this out, okay?”

It is a lazy morning in the library and the dense fog that spreads through the entire glass window from outside makes up for a classic winter morning. Yunho should have been working with his research paper about ‘standards versus taxes’ but instead, he was switching in between tabs in his laptop in the attempts to supply all the information Seonghwa had told him. There might have been too much in his plate right now but he was surprisingly receptive about it. In fact, it became almost like a noble mission all of a sudden. But what gives? Other than a good restful sleep and a peace of mind? His good dreams are finally materializing in his reality and that’s the only thing that keeps him from coming back. But what is this gut feeling that tells him to keep on going in the search of finding the truth?

Yunho was about to dive in to more information overload when all of a sudden, something caught his attention from afar.

Hold on.

_Isn’t that Hongjoong-hyung and…Mingi?_ -there by the entrance of the library, uncharacteristically genial with each other.

The taller, still in his leaden demeanor, crouching down as he shows whatever content in his phone there is to Hongjoong who, looked somewhat cheery and appreciative to whatever it may be. His heart started pounding soundly in his chest from the scene as his very recent dream with the most unlikely of interaction is now happening in front of his eyes. The two briefly exchanged their goodbyes that made Yunho cower down in panic, as if straining his neck towards the table can actually hide his entire, colossal self.

“Sorry to have kept you waiting. I had a bit of chitchat with Yeosang when I bump onto him inside the music room.” Hongjoong greets him as he takes a seat in front of him.

“O-oh that’s- that’s fine hyung.” Yunho stutters.

“Is there something wrong?” Hongjoong asks worriedly.

“N-nothing. I’m fine.”

“By the way, why are you all by yourself? Where’s Wooyoung?”

“Wooyoung told me to meet you first. He'll join us in a bit for lunch."

"Please don't tell me it has nothing to do with a malfunctioning speaker in the dance room that is urgently needed to be fixed?"

"Oh, how did you know?" The older then lets out a somewhat cynical laugh.

“ Fuckin’ knew it.”

“Knew what?”

"Well apparently, Choi San had the exact same excuse as to why Yeosang had been waiting in the music room for almost a whole period."

Yunho and Hongjoong stared at each other for a moment of pregnant silence. Hongjoong grimaced at a sudden thought but decided to just completely ignore it.

"By the way, isn't it nice you ended up hanging out with those three? Yeosang seems especially fond of you."

"Yeosang? Really?"

“He can’t express it well either. He said that it’s as if you’ve known each other for so long already.” Yunho smiles softly in affection.

“Yeosang also told me that ever since they met you, Mingi started changing. It’s as if you saw the real him from beyond and he was really grateful to you because of that. It gave him hope that Mingi will soon overcome whatever force that traps him inside."

So he’s not the only one who thinks the same about Mingi after all.

"I-I didn't know I had that effect but I'm thankful too, I guess..."

"Speaking of the guy, did you know that he's been hanging out with me lately?"

"Mingi?"

"Yes. Shocking right?"

"A bit, yeah…"

“ It was kind of random, really. Apparently, he kind of got in a bad mix with this Lee Jaehyuk kid again. So anyway, I was there at the conference room at the time with our department head because some of the art pieces from the art show will be displayed over there.”

“I remember Mingi's mother was there with him. The sweet lady almost begged their college dean for any alternative penalty they could offer other than suspending him for the remainder of the semester. And since our ever so hectic art show is in dire need of manpower, our department head suggested he could use some help during the week -long event in addition to mandatory hours of civil service within the vicinity of the university. So that happened and I became in charge of him for the rest of the art event. And I tell you, that kid is a fucking poet."

“What do you mean?"

"He writes dope ass lyrics _–like what?_ Can you even imagine?"

"He writes… lyrics? For real?" Well, that was a bit unheard off. Yunho was surprised.

"I accidentally discovered it that one time he assisted me in our booth. Actually, they weren’t lyrics to a song. It’s more of like a journal kind of thing that he writes in his phone whenever he feels the need to. I don’t know exactly what he meant by that but whatever, I guess everyone has their thing. So, as an _incredibly observant_ older friend-"

"- _nosy_ "

"- _curious,_ I was able to make him open up a bit more by acknowledging his potential in creative writing. Surprisingly, we have almost the same taste in music so I grabbed the chance to woo him into creating lyrical narratives instead."

"Congrats hyung , you’ve finally got yourself a minion.”

“This is free therapy, okay? Apparently, the athletics team suspended him for a whole month as well. So basically, he has nothing else to do but his classes and me -wait that didn't come out right but you know what I mean." _Ah, this hyung._ Yunho rolls his eyes at Hongjoong incredulously.

"Look, he just sent this one." Hongjoong brings his phone to Yunho for him to read the words that were simply typed on a noted pad.

_It’s just you and me, Mars and the infinite heavens._

_On a rocky plateau, where the stars at your mercy and your soul is wide open_

_Cry to your heart’s content, get drunk in emotions._

_Wash out your heart, wash out all the poison_

_Bleed through your eyes if you must_

_As red as Mars who’s above us, and as deep as the ocean beneath us…_

"See? If this wasn’t a worthy inclusion in one of my works I don’t know what is. God I’m so excited for the holidays so that I can start working on my projects again…”

Yunho were tangled in emotions he himself couldn’t even recognize. All he could feel is the seething tightness in his chest as he reads the entirety of Mingi’s work.

How could he forget? That ‘rocky plateau’, where cried his heart out and grieve in front of a majestic planet, glowing in red as countless of stars glimmer at its back. Mingi promised to stay with him that time that even when his dream expired, the residual warmth from the other’s arms became his source of solace the moment he woke up. He sniffled quietly, tears threatening to spill from his eyes when realization dawns upon him.

Mingi is lost somewhere parallel to his universe where he couldn’t reach, trapped by his strong desire to escape reality.

A few more weeks have passed and the long awaited holiday break finally came.

It was around eleven at night, freezing cold from the heavy drizzle throughout the day, the streets are almost empty, yet the night is too young to be this quiet. Most students have probably gone back to their homes since today marks the start of their holiday vacation. Yunho decided to stay overtime and do the clean up before they finally close for the entirety of the holiday break. No big deal as he might just go catch the earliest train tomorrow going home.

Wooyoung left the apartment earlier since they will have some of their relatives from Gwangju to visit them. San and Yeosang on the other hand will spend their holidays with their extended families back in their own provinces.

As for Mingi, well, he hasn’t seen Mingi for a while, the last time being that short moment he saw him and Hongjoong in the library. In fact, he hasn’t seen him in his dreams as well. Lately, his dreams were nothing but vague and trippy images and no presence from Mingi, who has always been his constant ever since they met.”

Yunho learned from Yeosang and San that Mingi hasn’t been going to school lately. He also hasn’t accomplished his remaining duties in community service. Since the three of them boards inside the campus dormitories, they said that Mingi would sometimes go home on school days, which he rarely does.

It is approaching midnight when Yunho had finally finished cleaning up. He has sent their remaining staff home earlier, leaving him all by himself. He closes the lights and takes the outdoor signages inside.

Yunho stopped short when he saw a figure sitting down at the still soaked sidewalk, back hunched down to his knees as he leans heavily against the frame of their restaurant’s glass window.

As soon as he recognized the person through the light illuminating from the lamp posts, he ran to him in a heartbeat.

“Mingi? H-hey, are you okay?” Yunho sank down to his knees in panic, ignoring the wet pavement that’s about to soak his jeans. He gently shakes the other to check if he is conscious or not. Mingi’s entire body is shivering, beneath a layer of a drenched light coat and a shirt.

Yunho instinctively cups Mingi’s icy cheeks with his warm palms to take a better look at the other and to keep his head from swaying, neck weak and almost spineless because of sheer intoxication.

Seeing Mingi in this state breaks his heart. He looks so wasted, face red and flushed, with dried up tears settling on the corners of his eyes. There were deep scratches all around his face as well as telltale signs of bruises forming on the corners of his lips and his temples. 

Yunho wasn’t able to contain himself and pulled the other tightly in his arms. His heart weeps to see Mingi all shattered and broken like this, this same person who had been his source of strength when he had none.

“Sorry…” Mingi mumbles lowly against Yunho’s shoulders, nearly inaudible for him to almost miss.

Yunho embraced Mingi securely in his arms; giving all the warmth his body could give against the other’s cold, quivering one. He wanted to take away the misery and carry all the weight in his heart, the way he had done for him unconditionally.

“It’s okay Mingi. I got you, _always.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


	6. 6

“I don’t know Woo, he was drenched and he looked absolutely smashed when I saw him at the sidewalk.” Yunho tries to keep his voice low on the hallway of their apartment, crouched down, with only his sleeping garments on as he rocks on his heels in the attempt to counter the sharp coolness of the winter air seeping in his bare arms.

“That poor thing. So what’s your plan?”

“ Right. Is there a chance you know where exactly Mingi lives?”

“What?”

“I mean his room in the campus dorms, do you know?”

“Please don’t tell me you’re gonna send the dude away? And how am I supposed to know? You could’ve called Yeosang or San for that matter.”

“Call San or Yeosang? In this ungodly hour?”

“And how about me? Don’t you have the slightest regard to my wellbeing? I should be in the middle of a wonderful dream right now with the man of my forever and this is what I deserve? Just keep the poor guy overnight, okay? The dorms are already closed you idiot you know they’ve got curfew there and besides, it’s a freezing negative outside Yunho where the hell is your conscience?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to-“

“Then that’s settled. Have a goodnight, buddy. And say goodnight to Mingi for me! Bye!”

Yunho contemplates about their years of friendship for quite a moment while the sound of the phone call hanging up echoes in the hallways.

It’s not that he didn’t want to help a friend in need. As a matter of fact, he’s more concerned of Mingi’s safety and comfort. And unfortunately, his tiny, broke- ass -college -student apartment couldn’t provide it. Yunho finally went in when the cold starts to creep uncomfortably. Suddenly, his apartment felt more cramped than it already is. Mingi sits by his all-purpose computer slash dining table on his ever so bulky gaming chair (because priorities). His lack of some clean, decent clothes was also an issue. Good thing he had clean boxer shorts and lounge shirts from the early batch of laundry that he can spare since they are virtually of the same size, except for the other’s relatively muscular thighs that makes the fabric hitch a bit higher than how he usually wears them and _okay his eyes are not there so stop staring you moron!_

"Do you need to use your computer I can-"Yunho found himself in the middle of his room, gaping at Mingi dumbly. 

"Ah, n-no just sit there stay comfy or whatever. You should drink your tea it's getting cold." Mingi nods.

Yunho fled to the bathroom as he rummages through his medicine kit for any sort of medicament for the gashes on Mingi’s face.

“Here, you can apply it on your wounds.” Still in a daze, Mingi nods and reaches for the tube of ointment.

“Do you mind telling me what happened?” Yunho asks in slight hesitation for he doesn’t want to force himself in Mingi’s problems. “But I understand if you can’t talk about it-“

"’Got a bit drunk with some people at a club.” Yunho was taken back when Mingi suddenly spoke as if it’s the first time in forever.

“I remember a group of people suddenly dragged me to an alley somewhere outside campus. Someone then punched me straight in the face and I kinda blacked out after that. The next thing I knew you were there. I don’t know but for some reason my feet just kind of dragged me to your place,” Mingi began to mindlessly play with the tube on his hand.

“But I don’t mean to cause you any trouble, really. I’ll try to work my way to the dorms-“

"No, please, you don't have to worry. It's freezing outside. I can't just let you go without a place to sleep. Just stay here for the night."

"You don't have to be nice."

"I insist, Mingi. You'll just have to sleep with me in the bed if that’s okay with you. I don't expect visitors coming in so I don't have spare mattresses around." Even if Yunho mentally beats himself up that it’s not a big deal and friends are totally fine to snuggle, he can only feel blood rush to his face as he hears himself laugh pathetically.

"That won't be a problem. Thank you, Yunho."

Hearing Mingi calls him by his name the first time in this reality, definitely hits home. It’s like the cherry on top of this whole complex, one-sided relationship that has been going on for what it seems like forever, blaming the longingness that was very much blind yet constant and aching. And as Yunho finds himself preparing the bed with extra pillows and a blanket, he imagine how fun would it be if the Mingi he’s known would actually spend the night on a good weekend, play games until their brains get toasted and just talk about stupid, nonsensical things until the break of dawn. Yunho smiles fondly at the idea of that.

Tucking both themselves to bed wasn’t that bad as Yunho anticipated it would be. Mingi was quiet as usual while Yunho does all the shy coaxing for them to reach an agreeable bed arrangement. Over the course of their months of interaction, in which he’s always been thankful with their friends, the once suffocating silence between them has somehow blossomed into something Yunho would find comfort in.

Yunho was glad he finds it natural for him to sleep on the spot beside the bed side table. Mingi looks far gone from the world after he finds him settling comfortably on the inner side of the bed, facing the wall. After what all he have gone through this day, Yunho was relieved to hear the other’s breathing, soft and steady and gratified, lulling his worn-out body to sleep almost, but not with his mind still active with his three o’clock musings.

Yunho have been meaning to ask his best friend a lot of things and if Seonghwa’s theories were right, is Mingi aware of all of this? Can he really see him in his dreams too?

Yunho tucks himself deeper in his blanket as he recalls his conversation with Seonghwa.

“If it were to be true that we share our dreams, wouldn’t it be helpful to talk about it with Mingi instead?”

“It won’t be that easy, Yunho. Despite the complexity of the situation you’re in right now, it doesn’t take away the fact that Mingi suffers from a disorder. And just like any other patient that suffers the same condition, receptivity to outside information is almost not viable. More so, he has this condition where it is difficult for him to differentiate dreams from reality. His subconscious will recognize you but his reality will not. In his reality, connecting with him is futile unless another trigger happens. I know you wanted him out of this whole ordeal but trust me Yunho, it would make things more confusing for him.”

“People with depersonalization disorder claims that they are stuck inside the transition between their dreams and their reality. People call this place the Void. They say it’s an infinitely dark and empty place in between your dreams and your reality.”

“What will happen then if they actually get stuck in there?”

“Then they’ll remain trapped in a world where they ultimately lose their awareness of reality. A physical implication would be either they refuse to sleep or to just induce themselves into a state where they never wake up again.”

“Hyung, is there a way to get him out of there?”

“Time will tell Yunho. Meanwhile, try to find out what keeps him holding on to that dream- like state. Should there be a chance the universe allows you to meet consciously in each other’s dreams again then by all means, convince him to let go as that will be your only chance to take him back.”

“I don’t know if that will ever happen again in the near future.”

“It will happen Yunho, don’t lose hope. For now, try not to force anything on the guy. Or better yet, load his subconscious with things that will make him look forward to his reality. Remember that with this disorder, his acts of impulse, his physical and emotional desires as well as his sense of decision making are mainly fueled by the information in his subconscious.”

“So that time in the restaurant, the first time he saw me and that look he gave me, is it possible that he actually remembered me from his dreams?”

“Probably. Just like any other dreams, the most vivid and fondest of memories are the ones stored in a person’s subconscious. You must’ve created an important memory with him for him to take you in easily.”

Yunho sighed deeply from his train of thoughts. His eyes shuts gently as they succumb to the warmth of the dim light coming from the desk lamp while his tired body caves in from the soft, warm pressure of his duvet. Finally, sleep is taking over.

“Hey,”

Mingi’s voice was raspy yet soft and warm to his ears. Yunho couldn’t tell how long has he been sleeping -he might haven’t even slept at all.

“Oh hey…” Yunho rolled a bit on his side; just enough to let the other know he’s awaken, but not turning completely to face the other. “Can’t sleep?”

“Mhm,” was the brief answer. Yunho knew Mingi shuffled closer to him, as he felt the other’s warmth entering his personal space. “I don’t feel like sleeping anymore.”

“Why is that?”

“There are a lot of things inside my head right now, things that drives me crazy sometimes. ”

There was something about Mingi’s tone that made his pulse jump , taking him completely away from his slumber and then Mingi was already whispering at his back, close,

_too close_.

“L-like what?”

“You,” His voice was uncharacteristically gentle yet raspy and hot against his neck. Yunho’s cheeks were almost painfully hot as he clings to his blanket helplessly. Was it out of fear? Confusion? …Arousal? The desire was definitely there, consuming him painfully slow, but it is still too foreign for Yunho to recognize. Mingi was a dear friend to him, on a celestial level even but he have never viewed the man in anyway, _sexual._

Or he may have at some point.

“Turn around,” there was another hoarse whisper, palpably demanding. Yunho’s one to oblige, heart hammered in his ears as he turn to face the other.

Yunho could feel the other’s breath already brushing through his lips. It was late when they both realized how close their distance were, feeling each other’s warmth as they spoke.

Yunho couldn’t breathe properly that he couldn’t respond even a word. Mingi’s breathing is heavy against his lips and he didn’t know why he is being like this. The tension was now too much for Yunho as he lets Mingi’s gaze wander over his eyes. It was so dark, deep and penetrating- as though he was trying to read his mind or something.

Yunho caught himself staring on to Mingi’s lips. His lips have always been one of Mingi’s best features but never really paid attention to them in this level of want and now that it is in full view, soft and delicately parted in a way that on any one else would look brainless.

“You… you’re driving me crazy.”

His body froze and he thought he would stop breathing before his heart exploded from his chest.

“What are – “

 _Then that kiss._ Mingi’s mouth is warm, soft but demanding at the same time. Mingi closed the remaining gap between them in Yunho’s now too cramped bed, seeking warmth as he pushes his lips more firmly upon the other. Mingi wanted in and he made his way in. Yunho’s felt his senses unraveling, and he wanted to resist as much as he wanted to give in. A pink tongue coursed its way in Yunho’s mouth that made him gasp in slight panic. Mingi seems to have noticed it immediately, making him pause briefly as he kisses the tip of Yunho’s nose in affirmation, just enough to calm him down and melt his insides at the same time.

  
Mingi dives back in, this time, slanting his lips further, desperate for deeper contact. Yunho instinctively parted his lips as it was pried open by the other’s deliciously skillful tongue. Yunho remained fastened upon Mingi’s shirt; his hand tightly curled at his white tee, as Mingi continued the abuse onto his lips. Yunho tried to keep the blanket on himself as his anchor, unable to caught up with this sudden rush and desperation. Without breaking their kiss, Mingi shifted on top of Yunho, pulling his blanket away from him.

Pulling his face away, Mingi looked down onto Yunho’s hazy brown eyes; on the other hand, Yunho was lost with those dark orbs filled with nothing but pure lust. With all his six feet glory, the only time he allows himself to feel this small and vulnerable was always with Mingi. But this time was completely different. He was at Mingi’s mercy, unnervingly exposed despite of him being completely clothed. Heavy hoarse panting echoed throughout the room as both remained silent, drowning both of them in pure desire.

_His acts of impulse, his physical and emotional desires as well as his sense of decision making are mainly fueled by the information in his subconscious._

Realization made Yunho feel the rush like a sudden tide through his prone body. His head is on turmoil because Mingi wanted him like this and he have never seen it coming. Fear was starting to simmer inside as he drowns in pleasure. He was afraid of craving for more of Mingi’s intoxicating kisses. He was afraid of the high knowing he was being desired and wanted and that he was afraid of feeling this good. Because Mingi wasn’t himself and he didn’t want to take advantage of his friend in his current state. He has the better understanding between them and he needed to end this before his body completely betrays him and everything gets out of control.

Yunho shook his head, hoping for Mingi to receive his silent protest. He tried to move his arms with his futile attempt to console the other but in return, Mingi placed more pressure and pinned them beside his head. He was being restricted. Everything was left to be in Mingi’s control.

“Mingi, please you don’t want this-“

Mingi licked the trail of saliva that had leaked out of Yunho’s open, gasping mouth before sticking his tongue back into the warm depths. Mingi wrapped his tongue around Yunho’s making him close his eyes as the fiery burst of sensation surge in his chest.

“M-mingi-“ he choked, his fingers grasping desperately in the air. His lips faltered in between kisses with no sound until finally his lungs found the breath to let out a resisted moan. 

It must have stirred something from the other and the blood pounded horribly in Yunho’s ear as he heard Mingi let out a low growl in response. Desire was his worst enemy now, crawling through him and not bothering to hide its presence. Especially not when Mingi’s weight is now comfortable against his pelvis. He could feel Mingi through the thin fabric of his boxers, warm and hard against his. Mingi’s muscular thighs started digging against the sides of his legs, using them as his initial force to roll hard against their arousal. It only took a painfully slow grind of the hips for Yunho to finally lose it, throwing his head back as a shiver coursed through his nerves.

Yunho struggled, mostly occupied by heavy suppressed moans as his breathing gone wild. And then Mingi stops. Yunho instinctively looked at his side, flushed, trembling, sweat-covered, every inch painted with lust. And he is extremely guilty and embarrassed and confused all at the same time, the terrible mix was quite unbearable that he just wanted to vanish from the face of the earth. More so, he could feel the other’s eyes on him yet he was afraid to look back. A long moment of silence continued and only heavy panting echoed throughout the room. 

Mingi’s weight on him slowly eased, the fire that came along went down as well. Yunho sighed from that sudden loss of contact when all of a sudden Mingi’s warmth came back, hovering on top of him as he felt a kiss so tender right on his temple.

“I’m sorry,” Mingi softly whispered. Yunho recognized the disappointment when their connection has finally vanished as Mingi settles gently back in his side of the bed. Unable to form any words, all Yunho could do is to slightly curl near Mingi as fear and confusion pours out of him.

Much to his surprise, Mingi pulled him close in a warm embrace. It felt so familiar, so… _so Mingi_ and it took him no time to relax in his arms. There is too much in his plate already, but for tonight, his mind decided to shut down and drain itself empty, his body finally succumbing to the time as Mingi’s soft breathing lulls him to it.

Tomorrow, he’ll deal with everything tomorrow.

The sunbeam fell across his eyes, and Yunho groaned. It was almost eleven in the morning when he hazily checked his phone. He slowly righted himself, fighting back the wave of nausea from oversleeping. His mind was empty for a brief moment when all of a sudden, a series of flashbacks hit him like a truck.

He groans from the unbearable high of emotions and he could feel the blood rush back to his face while the _intimate_ flashback continues. What’s worse is that the cause of this mental chaos was nowhere to be seen inside his tiny apartment. 

Yunho slowly stumbled out of bed and onto his narrow doorway to check on the other’s shoes and as presumed, Song Mingi left without a word, _that bastard_ , leaving him suffering from a mental breakdown due to the _unforeseen_ events of last night. Looking back at his sworn mission to bring Mingi back and make everything normal again, he’s got so much more to figure out still and having this Mingi from a different light is making things even more complicated.

Yunho went back inside when he noticed a plastic bag placed on top of his computer table. The moment he opened the bag to see the contents; a soda, a bag of potato chips and a fruit sandwich, he knew everything Seonghwa has put forward made absolute sense. Mingi’s subconscious mind is trying to connect to his reality, for Yunho to realize his presence. That he is there somewhere, trapped in between his dreams and reality.

Mingi wanted out but something is holding him back.

It was cold when Yunho stepped outside his apartment but luckily, the wintry sun made his walk to the train station pretty laid-back. He may have also stopped on a few shops to buy some nice take-aways for his mom and brother. When he passed by the minor roundabout on the way to the station, it gave him the chance to admire that small monument which serves as a memorial to the victims of the disastrous earthquake six months ago when a building under construction collapsed and caused multiple casualties.

_The Collapse of Crescent Hotel_

_March 25, 2019_

_At nine- thirty in the morning across this monument, the anticipated Crescent Hotel which was under construction at that time collapsed after a magnitude 6.9 earthquake struck west of Mapo District which have left many injured and claimed 12 lives including men, women and students._

_This monument is built as their memorial._

That was the moment he also realized, the accident happened the day after the sudden death of his father and he have never paid attention to it until now.

_Could it be-_

It was a calm and quiet day at his neighborhood playground, except the usual warming glow of the sun wasn’t there. The absence of the kids makes it colder as usual. It was only him and his father sitting by the pond in the middle of his favorite childhood place, spending their time together with their favorite father and son activity – fishing .It’s their father’s joy to spend time with him and his younger brother whenever he gets the chance to visit home. His father have already brought them to countless of waterways in their small town. They went out with all kinds of weather too, catching and missing every fish their town has to offer.

Yunho has always admired his father’s calm nature. He sits there quietly, all cool and composed and self-assured with his years of expertise. On the other hand, Yunho keeps on casting his fishing rod, rapid and determined. He was rattling all throughout but it is how his father has trained them. To get the fish you want, you have to keep on casting. It was tiring but Yunho learned the importance of persistence and willingness to keep trying different baits to catch your fish. There has been countless of times where his father’s advice rings true especially his attitude in life.

When Yunho finally caught a fish, they both couldn’t have been more proud. He felt the pride penetrating to his skin and his father’s proud laughter was embedded in his ears.

Full of vigor and excitement to have reached his father’s expectation, he turned to him, longing for that sparkle of pride in his father eyes, but then his father suddenly vanished. He was frantic, making circles by the pond, looking desperately for his father around the now gloomier atmosphere of the playground.

Then all of a sudden, there was a rapid shake from the ground that ended with a sharp jolt. There was an eerie moment of deafening silence after and the pond was suddenly not there anymore but a wide expanse of deep dark hole with unimaginable depths that can go on until the earth’s core.

Another wave of tremor much stronger than the first one came in until the ground he was standing on crumbles before him, leaving Yunho screaming for help as he flails to the air, resisting the gravity of falling in a sinkhole helplessly and without anything to hold on to. All of a sudden, there was a strong grip that swathed one of his forearms, pulling his descending body upwards.

“Just hold my arm! Don’t let go!” Yunho gripped back as hard on his savior’s forearm, scared and desperate for his own life. The unknown person keeps on yelling about something but he couldn’t make up most of his words as the ground continues its cries.

“Hyung? Yunho-hyung?”

“Gunho?” Yunho recognizes his brother as soon as he jolts from his sleep. “ Quick! Under the table!”

“Huh?What -wait hyung -!” The teen thrashes in confusion as Yunho fervently pulls his brother down under the table he has slept on a while ago.

“What is wrong with you?”

“Where’s mom?!”

“She’s at the lobby with dad’s friends from his college…wait are you okay?”

“The ground is freaking shaking Gunho how am I supposed to be okay?!”

“No it’s not what are you talking about?”

“Didn’t you feel that? There was a very strong earthquake just now.”

“Uh yeah _…”_ Gunho chuckles, matter-of-factly. “… _in Seoul_.” Yunho fell to a daze when his confusion intensifies tenfold.

“W-what -Seoul? Just in Seoul?” 

But he remembered everything clearly. The moment he opened his eyes, the ground was still shaking, from the hanging fixtures, lighting stands to the flowers across the room beside his father’s memorial. Was it all just a dream? But it’s so intense and clear and so _so_ real he could still feel the lingering pressure of the unknown man’s grip on his forearm.

“It was at Mapo district I think. They said it happened around thirty minutes ago. You can check the news, hyung. I heard it was pretty bad.”

Yunho shivers as the cold gust of winter breeze nips at the sensitive skin on his bare face. He was still facing the memorial, the date of the accident now embedded in his brain along with this realization that on that same, fateful day, he and Song Mingi met for the first time in their dreams and that earthquake is the trigger that made it all happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i tried my best with that steamy yungi guys pls dont hate me >.<  
> and i'm sorry if this chapter took a while, i've been very busy lately. 
> 
> again, thank you so much for reading!


	7. 7

The warm breeze of the sea swirls against his bare arms along the pungent smell of seawater that came with it. The sun was pleasant mid-morning and not scorching. Yunho found himself tracing the sand where he sits, enjoying the grit and the random pattern he creates while appreciating the glimmer of his father's ring against the sunlight. The waves were crashing against the shore, enjoying its sound and the slight touch of the white foam chasing his feet.

Yunho looks over the sea, dazzling from the sun like jewels that run infinitely up to the peaceful sky. He caught Yeosang a few yards away from him, in his own little world as he gathers and packs a pile of sand in his makeshift bucket. He found the brothers Jongho and Mingi on the sea fooling around with a surfboard. They were obviously having the time of their lives just by telling how loud Mingi was from afar.

Not too distant from the brothers, he spotted Wooyoung and San, facing each other rather intimately as they glide against the gentle waves of the sea. Yunho averted his gaze almost immediately after he finds himself staring at the couple who began kissing soon after. He’s the kind of person who doesn’t get easily bothered by simple acts of intimacy but they are his friends after all and he felt like an intruder to something that is always there between the two of them but still left unspoken.

"Are you sure you don't want to go for a swim?" Yunho jolts away from his thoughts when he heard Mingi, approaching from the sea while completely drenched, with only his board shorts on, baring his healthy skin that is loved by the sun and lean muscular physique (he might or might not have paid attention before). Yunho couldn't tell if it's just him or the sun but his face suddenly felt red and scorching.

"I-Il join you guys soon." Yunho said, clearing his throat in shame.

"What's the matter?" Mingi sits beside him, completely unbothered of the wetness.

Yunho heaves a deep sigh, burying the unwanted thoughts away and enjoys the calming breeze instead.

"Nothing. I just wanted to relax. You know, breathe some air. It would be such a shame to miss the beauty of this place.”

"It's amazing right?" Mingi smiles at him rather fondly. He reached for his wet hair and brushed them up with his fingers and Yunho short-circuited for a moment, mesmerized by such mundane gesture.

"Yeah..." Yunho replies on a haze and Mingi's smile widen, eyes forming tiny crescents.

"It's perfect here isn't it?" Yunho nods in appreciation. "Do you want to stay here with me? With us?"

Yunho's eyes widen, thought process halting on a screech. This scene… it has happened before. Panic then simmers in his gut, could this be his cue? Is this his long awaited moment? Could it be-

"Mingi, this- are you..."

"Ah, hyung! Where have you been?" Yunho turns to the person Mingi suddenly calls from behind him. A tall, slender male. His jet black hair slicked and pushed back.

This person. What is he doing in here?

"Seonghwa-hyung...?"

Yunho looks back at Mingi but he's gone. Not only him but everyone had vanished. He didn't even notice that the sky turned dark, and the water starts crashing onto the shore violently. Yunho ran to the other side of the beach but to his shock, the other side was another shoreline mirroring the other, with equally violent waves coming at him. Now he's all alone, standing on the remaining strip of dry sand, trapped in between the hollows of two steep waves. And it didn't take long for it to come down, crashing until the sea gobbles him alive.

His head pops up from the soft confines of his pillow, heart pounding and palms tight and sweaty as he slowly relaxes them, every knuckle stretching out slowly but still trembling from the adrenaline.

Yunho inhales deeply until his breathing calms down. He hasn’t had such nightmare in so long. Being towered and then gorged up by gigantic waves was beyond terrifying. But a large fraction of his fear came with the realization that he might have missed that collision, that unforeseeable chance to take Mingi back to this reality. It's as if everything gets disturbed whenever he faces the situation. Like he couldn't hold it down whenever he tries to approach it.

His eyes draw heavily on his phone he dragged from the bed side table. It is past nine in the morning and he only get to sleep until this late for two more days until they reopen their restaurant for the holidays. He checked on a few unread messages where he opened one with the unknown sender. Who could it be?

**_0000XXXXX-234_ **

_Hi._

The message was sent just half an hour ago. Yunho replies back.

**_Yunho_ **

_Hello. May I know who this is?_

**_0000XXXXX-234_ **

_Mingi_

Yunho got startled with the reply. Never would he have expected for Mingi to reach out to him in his own will. But somehow, he felt comforted and relieved from this attention. Slowly, he started calming down from the aftershocks of his nightmare.

**_Yunho_ **

_Oh hey, what's up?_

In which Yunho replied with the most civil reply he could muster.

**_Mingi_ **

_nothing much._

_you?_

**_Yunho_ **

_same :)_

_we just practically stayed in the house the entire week._

_btw i was playing with san the other day._

_he mentioned you play overwatch too?_

_you should join us sometime._

**_Mingi_ **

_sure_

Ah, so now he is bound to get this conversation going. Great.

**_Yunho_ **

_so how are you spending the holidays?_

**_Mingi_ **

_i_ _m staying with my mom so there's not much to do._

Yunho caught himself carelessly typing his text concerning on Jongho's whereabouts. He quickly erased the message upon realizing that no one has mentioned anything about Jongho yet. 

**_Yunho_ **

_do you have any plans of going out of town or something?_

**_Mingi_ **

_no_

_not really._

It took Yunho a while to come up with a reply as he taps on his phone mindlessly. When did it become this hard to ask a friend to hang out? Jongho must be staying with their father in the other side of the city right now and Mingi seemed lonely by himself. This awareness somehow made him felt accountable for it but _hell,_ his awkwardness from _that_ incident is still clear as day, and _it_ still being casually pushed aside as if nothing happened has greatly affected his poor, one-sided heart. In the end, Yunho decided it probably was just him beating himself up with things he couldn’t even control. Yunho taps the send button, ultimately regrets it after a second, buries his head in his pillow and waits for the reply in dread.

****

**_Yunho_ **

_do you want to hang out?_

**_Mingi_ **

_i_ _was about to ask you the same._

Yunho's heart races a bit at that. Song Mingi telling him he wanted to hang out with him, on a Sunday morning, probably very sober.

**_Yunho_ **

_really?_

_i mean sure_

_where do you wanna go?_

**_Mingi_ **

_y_ _ou decide_

****

**_Yunho_ **

_ive wanted to visit the amusement park ever since we moved here_

_but I feel like it's going to be too crowded tho_

**_Mingi_ **

_how about the arcade?_

_or the movies_

_bbq?_

Something fluttered inside Yunho that he didn’t even notice he was already smiling.

**_Yunho_ **

_you know what let's do all of it._

_a day is too long just for the arcades anyways._

**_Mingi_ **

_okay_

Yunho didn't leave the bed until they've come up with a plan. Although planning a hangout is not really a common practice between friends, being this civil is so much better than nothing. He believes that subconsciously, Mingi is making his presence felt with how he is reaching out to him. It can be unpredictable at times but he's always reminded of what Seonghwa had said before. An induced reality. A way to somehow make this Mingi look forward to the real world. And that creating good memories with him is the only thing he could do for now while waiting for that chance to possibly bring him back. Maybe one day, the universe finally decides to stop fucking their lives up and Mingi just simply wakes up from his plight and everything comes back to normal.

Oh how he wished it was as easy as it sounds.

His phone rings a bell and another message pops up.

**_Wooyoung_ **

_Happy holidays buddy!_

_**Yunho** _

_um happy holidays_

_what do you want_

****

**_Wooyoung_ **

_ouch man_

_what made your heart so cold in this lovely winter morning?_

**_Yunho_ **

_you_

_thank you for stalling the other night_

_weve been waiting for you for hours._

**_Wooyoung_ **

_i was babysitting my cousins_

**_Yunho_ **

_lies_

**_Wooyoung_ **

_it's true!_

_and who's we?_

**_Yunho_ **

_choi san_

**_Wooyoung_ **

_YOU PLAYED WITH SANNIE THE ENTIRE FCKNG NIGHT_

_AND YOU DIDNT BOTHER TELLING ME YOU SNITCH-"_

**_Yunho_ **

_sAnNIE_

_so it has finally came to this_

_congrats I guess_

**_Wooyoung_ **

_huh_

_wdym?_

**_Yunho_ **

_nvm_

_san is such a cool guy_

_actually_

_he’s becoming my favorite person these days_

**_Wooyoung_ **

_rigggght_

_first of all what even is this futile attempt to make me jealous_

_2nd ,choi san is not your favorite person these days DON’T LIE TO ME_

_wc reminds me_

_a nice little bird told me yesterday that someone is kind of desperate to ask your number_

_bec “he's too sorry for what happened” wtv_

_not entirely my business but_

_I MEAN_

****

**_Yunho_ **

_sorry I think i misread nice instead of nosy_

**_Wooyoung_ **

_ok but why is he sorry tho_

_concerned friend here_

**_Yunho_ **

_can you pls stop talking to me_

**_Wooyoung_ **

_gasp_

_was it from that night?_

_what have he done to you?_ _( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_

**_Yunho_ **

_dude shut it or i swear to god_

**Wooyoung**

_DIDHEMAKEYOUPREGNANT?!_

Yunho threw his phone across the bed and buried himself in his blanket. Whatever happened was just way too much for a mundane Sunday morning. He decided he had had enough of Wooyoung and his not so passive teasing and he hates how it seriously affects him now especially after what happened that night. He groans at the flashbacks that has been haunting him erratically. Mingi was probably too intoxicated and confused that time and Yunho felt so bad for taking advantage of the situation. But no matter how hard he tries to convince himself, some unwanted feelings are starting to flourish.

So the day finally came and as planned, they went for the amusement arcade he learned that Mingi goes to with San and Yeosang. Yunho was in awe at how spacious and modern the place was. It offers more variety and is much more interactive than the ones he frequent to in his hometown. And while going to the arcades these days is not that common anymore to college guys their age, it was a more convenient place to drain off some excess energy he hasn't put into use ever since the winter vacation started. Besides, Yunho thought it was fun to loosen up a bit -and Mingi looks like he was enjoying it as much despite his usual stoic expression.

"Hey, you're really good at it!" Yunho compliments him, effortlessly throwing shots in his side of the basketball arcade machine.

“My brother and I love playing basketball on our free time."

"Oh so you have a brother too?"

"A younger brother. His name is Jongho. He’s turning eighteen this year."

Of course. How can he forget? Yunho's heart swells at the thought of Jongho finally being revealed to him in this reality. Jongho was not just a friend but like his own little brother too. He is a young and spirited teen. But he also loved to talk about his dreams and aspirations. For his age, his sense of maturity and introspect in life is rather amazing. He would always find himself in deep talks with the teen whenever they are together in his dreams. Yunho cherish his brother dearly but the amount of love this kid have for his brother is truly admirable. Jongho trusted him that much to entrust Mingi to him and that is something that deepened the bond between them. The thought of meeting him real soon makes his heart flutter in excitement.

"Ah so he's about to enter college soon. What are his plans?"

"He's torn between sports education and chemical engineering. That kid loves basketball with a passion but he said he also wanted to wear labcoats at work. "

Yunho smiles at how Mingi would always had that spark in his eyes whenever he talks about about Jongho like he’s the only person in the world that matters.

"He seems like a cool kid to me. You know what, we should go out with our brothers next time. My brother is two years younger than Jongho but I'm pretty sure they'll get along."

Mingi nods gently, Yunho not missing that subtle pull on the corner of the others lips.

After spending most of their time fighting off zombies in Zombie Raid and getting slightly competitive on the boxing machine, they went straight to the movies as planned wherein they've easily agreed on a sci-fi flick. Mingi seemed like a movie person as well. Yunho learned that he particularly liked the experience of going to the cinema rather than just simply watching at home. The movie went smoothly as well as their barbecue dinner right after. 

Yunho would still initiate most of their conversations but Mingi surprises him at times with his spontaneity. And that's okay too. The silence, the spontaneity; This Mingi is all he has right now and this is more than enough for him.

It was already late in the evening when they finished the hearty dinner and decided to call it a day. Mingi must have noticed Yunho shiver from that sharp gust of freezing wind as they walk back to the train station to catch their separate trains. Yunho was so amused at how the other suddenly apologized for not bringing a car to get them both home instead because the night would be intensely chilly as expected. Apparently, the trauma is still there and his therapist has advised him not to drive around until he fully recovers.

"Hey, you don’t have to worry okay? Today was a lot fun. Two, grown-ass men spend the day in the arcades while their friends have the vacation of their lives? Who would've thought this vacation wouldn’t suck as much anymore.”

"It's fine with just you though." It may or may not be just the freezing wind but Yunho's sure his face turned red at that, the prickly heat radiating up to his ears.

They are almost near the station to take their trains separately. It was still a pleasant stroll despite the cold evening. Side by side, walking at a mutual pace. There are times their fingers accidentally brush and it's just probably Yunho, or the cold but he must admit he suddenly wanted to submit to that soothing warmth radiating from the other’s body.

“Mingi,” Yunho suddenly called, completely mindless of what he’s about to say.

With the thoughts of telling the whole situation with Mingi swimming in his head, this could actually be the perfect chance. But then, he would always have this mental battle with Seonghwa’s advice. No one knows what has been truly happening but risking this progress he have established with Mingi in exchange for his impulsiveness might take him further away from his goals.

“Mingi I wanted to ask you something-“ Yunho felt choked by his words, his mouth running faster than his brain. Mingi turns to him, cocking his head slightly. His heart began pounding and the cold starts creeping uncomfortably through the thick layers of his clothing.

“Do you…Mingi are you… _ah shit_ ,” Yunho wavered in the end.The slight tremble in his voice –pathetic. He didn’t know where to begin and Mingi’s piercing gaze made it even impossible to continue what he started. “Nevermind that’s- I’m sorry. We should go-“.

Mingi suddenly went closer and pulled Yunho, wrapping his arms around the other’s tensed shoulders.

“Why-“ Yunho gasps, cheeks buried in between Mingi’s shoulder and neck. He smells woody and mildly vanilla. Mingi’s embrace felt warm, gentle and familiar. He felt protected, comforted -he felt right.

“I don’t know,” It almost felt like forever before he heard his voice again. His breath was raspy and hot against his ear as he spoke. “I just suddenly felt the need to. I’m sorry if- “

“Don’t-“ Yunho objects, pulling the other close as he presses in, finally caving in Mingi’s embrace. “It’s okay.” Yunho wraps his arms around the other’s torso, rubbing his back gently with his cold fingers in affirmation.

“You’re so cold.” Mingi said as he held Yunho tighter in attempt to soothe him with all the warmth he could give.

Yunho buries himself from the touch, calming his uneven breathing from both the harsh pounding of his heart and the thin air of winter. “I- yeah…it’s cold. “ 

Yunho tried to speak but couldn’t find the words for all the thoughts and emotions were completely forgotten. He sighed deeply against Mingi’s shoulder, submitting to the warmth of his embrace, wistfully wishing that Mingi felt him and all the things he desperately wanted to say. “So cold…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading!  
> sorry if this took me a while. i've decided to cut this into two chapters because it's already too long and wordy so ch 8 will be posted sooner ^.^ so no cliffhanger for this ch, just some failed attempt for a yungi fluff >.<  
> again, thank you so much for sticking up with this work. go ask away if it's overly confusing you at this point (im sorry!), comment or just say hi ^.^


	8. Chapter 8

Days went on and Yunho went back to work in their restaurant. He only have an entire week to focus in managing their restaurant before the classes resume as well his dance training. The crowd was fairly manageable as most of the university students are still on their vacation. San and Yeosang are still out of town with their families but they all promised to hangout before their classes start. San on the other hand became his regular gaming buddy where they play almost every night. Wooyoung was in a hectic schedule though that one time, he even went out of his way to drop by the restaurant to vent out on how fat he have become because of all the church and family gatherings they have to attend during the holidays.

Mingi, unexpectedly became that constant person out of the bunch. After they went out, their interaction has greatly developed, from random conversation off-hours to Mingi personally going to their restaurant almost everyday as he completes his remaining school work for the entirety of his suspension. He would take up the corner seat with his earphones on while Yunho carries on with his work and surprisingly, he finds comfort in this. Yunho would personally go to his table and serves him with warm water refills and Mingi will just nod appreciatively every time and that’s all they needed to communicate.

_“So you’re saying that after you went on your date he’s been acting extra friendly with you? Isn’t that normal couple dynamics? ”_

“Somehow yes? And no, that wasn’t a date and we are not a couple.”

_“Mhm, right. Well, isn’t that a good thing?”_

“I know hyung. It’s about the dreams. Mingi being trapped in there is all I’m worried about. Don’t get me wrong because I’m genuinely happy with where we are right now but what if creating new memories with him is not a good idea after all? What if he abandons his subconscious and be trapped in there forever? Then comes the physical implications you’ve mentioned. What if one day, he just decided to stopped sleeping or worse, he wouldn’t wake up at all? “

_“Yunho,”_

“I know I’m overthinking again hyung, I’m sorry. I’m honestly so tired and confused and I just wanted to solve this together with him but I just don’t know how-,”

_“Tell me Yunho, are the dreams getting worse?”_

“Yes…no… I don’t know. All I know is I’ve missed it, hyung. I’ve missed my chance.”

_“Did it happen again? The interaction?”_

“Yes,”

_“How did you know?”_

“At first I thought it was just one of those dreams again but there was that moment that he was starting to consciously talk about him creating that dream and asking me if I wanted to stay. It was the very same thing he told me back then. And from there I knew that was it.”

_“Are you sure about this Yunho? You know dreams can be very unpredictable-“_

“You were there, hyung.”

_“Me?”_

“Mingi hasn’t met you yet, right? But you were there. He even called you.”

_“Are you sure he doesn’t know anything about me? Even in photos?”_

“I may have mentioned you a few times but I haven’t shown him any photo of you so there’s no way your image would be that vivid unless-“

_“Your subconscious made another interaction with his.”_

“Exactly. Making him aware of your existence because of me.”

_“Holy shit Eden wasn’t playing with his theories after all! You do realize there is an ongoing pattern here right?”_

“Yes. At first it doesn’t make sense to me but thanks to you and Eden-hyung I wouldn’t have figured it out. ”

The last dream he had made the conclusion that ever since the astronomical entanglement which happens to be the earthquake in Mapo six months ago, there would always be new information shared between their subconscious -in their case, memories with people.

Wooyoung, San, Yeosang and Jongho were the results of their very first interaction when they started appearing in his dreams just a few days after the earthquake where he met Mingi.

Wooyoung have never existed to the real Mingi , the same as with Yeosang, San and Jongho to Yunho. They co-existed in their dreams because of that collision and coincidentally they ended up gravitating towards each other in the real world.

The same thing happened with Hongjoong. He might have been the result of that time – that moment in the cliff where it was the first time Mingi consciously declared they were in Yunho’s dream. Mingi haven’t met Hongjoong at that time. And there he goes appearing in both their dreams until Mingi and Hongjoong finds each other in real life. And he wouldn’t be surprised that an actual interaction with Seonghwa and Mingi might happen in the near future as well.

“So this kind of interaction can possibly be my cue, as long as I can control the situation. There’s a huge chance I can get him out of there. ”

_“But don’t forget Yunho, you still have to persuade him especially given the unpredictable amount of time you have. You have to direct yourself to the root cause as to why he was still holding back.”_

And if the real reason lies in Mingi’s ties with his parents then he will find his way to it.

“Yunho, are you okay?” The first thing he saw was Yeosang’s palm waving in front of his face, replaced by a worried expression atypical for his usual serene demeanor.

“W-what?” 

“We were actually talking about cheeses and then you kinda spaced out for a hot minute. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.” Yunho stammered, eyes starting to survey the unfamiliar situation. Both of them were standing across the long expanse of a buffet table; particularly right in front of a charcuterie with a selection of cold cuts and cheeses he couldn’t even articulate. He realized he was wearing a tailored suit with a nice dress shirt and what it seems like an expensive black silk tie. Yeosang looked specially put together, with his own set of black formal ensemble that highlights his blonde locks that was styled to frame his face, hiding a bit of the mullet.

There were quite a lot of people -faceless men and women in their formal attires. The place is a fair mix of traditional and contemporary, adorned with modern lightings and chandeliers gracing the sophisticated design of the high ceilings.

“Everyone’s looking for you. The brothers thought you wouldn’t come.” Yeosang said as he guides them both away from the crowd.

“Why? What’s the big deal anyw-“

“Hyung! I’m so glad you came.” Jongho came to him as soon as the crowd cleared their path, the over excited teen instantly clings to him by his shoulders in his tippy toes.

“Jongho, can you like sit your ass down for once.” Yeosang hissed at the side. In return, Jongho playfully pulls out a tongue at the blonde. Yeosang shook his head in dismay and leaves the two of them, joining the more familiar crowd in their round table.

“He’s really cute especially when his nose flares out like that when he’s angry.”

“Who? Yeosang?” Yunho felt the other nod against his shoulder as the younger’s chin heavily rests on them, eyes uncharacteristically dreamy. And wait -isn’t that alcohol he just smelled?”

“Wait ‘til I turn twenty one and I’m really gonna ask him out.” Yunho laughs at the sudden confession.

“Jongho-yah, you know you’re not allowed to drink yet.”

“No I’m not drunk. Wooyoungie told me it was only grape juice _ha ha_.” Yunho cringes on his side when the boy playfully blows air on his face. Definitely not grape juice.

“Yunho! Finally!” San approached him with a bro-fist, sleek and absolutely dapper in his pair of suit.

And why does it sound like everyone was looking forward to him being there? What is this grand gathering even? 

“Jong-ie, have you seen Wooyoung around?” San asks Jongho.

“He’s with my brother, I think. They’re somewhere near the bar a while ago.” Jongho slurs with his words with a few hiccups in between.

“Oh, you want a swig to wash all that grape juice down?” San teased.

“Dude! Just go find your boyfriend. I’m gonna sit this kid down first.” YUnho exclaims.

When San left, Yunho settled Jongho down their table, beside Yeosang who was about to protest but in the end, the blonde openly lets the drunken boy lean on to him.

Yunho wanders around the hall until he saw a familiar figure by the cocktail tables at the balcony. That striking blue hair is just so hard to miss amongst the monotonous crowd. He was carrying his black suit like no other -unique but still tasteful. Hongjoong waves at him to join his table and before he reaches his senior, a tall, slender guy came in to the scene, settling two short glasses of what it seemed like heavy booze on the tall table. Yunho wouldn’t even think the man could ever be more stunning -jet black hair, neatly pushed back. He definitely owns the suit game tonight like nobody’s business.

“You’re late.” Seonghwa gives Yunho a quick high five.

“Better late than never, I guess.” Yunho quips despite the utter cluelessness.

“It’s for Mingi’s mom Seonghwa, I’m sure this kid wouldn’t miss a thing.” Hongjoong winks at him before taking a sip of his drink. Yunho watched as his fraternal brother and his favorite senior exchange friendly banters at each other. He found himself smiling in wonder at that sudden familiarity between the two.

People then started crowding the other side of the hall, he noticed. Yunho’s breath hitched a bit when he finally saw what he learned he has been looking for –Mingi who was gracing the crowd with his charm that made Yunho somehow felt jealous. And he hates himself for seeing his best friend in this new light. Mingi was especially stunning tonight with his hair slicked back, revealing more of his handsome features more than ever. His suit is tailored to highlight a perfect silhouette, with his broad shoulders tapering down his slim waist. He was the star of the night –almost, if not for what he believed to be a petite lady standing beside him. Before he could even fully indulge himself with Mingi from afar, a distressing realization starts to crawl in his gut.

Is this one of those dreams again? And if yes, will he be able do it? If Mingi’s mom will be revealed to him anytime soon, would he be able to bend the possibilities and actually approach him before everything goes haywire again?

“Yunho are you okay?” Hongjoong said, making him snap out of his thoughts.

“Yeah, I-I’m fine.” Yunho said without even batting an eye from Mingi’s direction.

“Here, you probably needed a drink.” Seonghwa offers, pushing a fresh new glass of liquor to his side of the table.

“I’m okay hyung. You know I can’t take hard drinks.”

“You can do it, Yunho.” Seonghwa clinks his glass gently before taking a sip of his own. Yunho caught the older’s eyes, holding his with a knowing gaze he could only understand. No, it wasn’t just merely a challenge of gulping down the hard liquor. Seonghwa wanted him to do _something._

“Go for it.” It took another coaxing from his older friend before he takes it. He took the shot in one go, the liquid fire starting to burn his insides. He went off after that, with quick, long strides as his vision narrowed to only Mingi.

“Mi-

“Ah, Yunho-yah,” A gentle voice called him from behind. He turned around and after realizing who it was, his then raging heart halted instantly.

“I’m so glad you came to my party.” A petite lady in a simple navy blue gown with a black see-through shawl said. Her fox-like eyes were of tiny crescents, creasing on the sides and her smile, it was warm and beautiful and was never short of endearing.

It was Mingi’s mother.

“My dear are you okay?”

“I’m fine Mrs. Song.” Yunho stammers.

“Mrs. Song?” the woman chuckled. “Where did ‘auntie’ go Yunho-yah?”

“I-I mean auntie.” And at this point, he only wanted to see Mingi. He needed to pull him out of the crowd. Meeting his mother right at the moment, he knew something is happening and Mingi is nowhere to be reached from the sea of people who’s now towering over him despite his tall stature.

“It’s alright sweetie. I’m just so happy you came. I wouldn’t know what to do with Mingi if not for you.” Again, that motherly smile. Yunho wanted to yield from it, his focus torn between the sweet lady in front of him and finding his best friend from the growing crowd. Yunho felt Mrs. Song reached out to his arm, giving it a tender squeeze.

“Please look after him for me, okay?” And from there, Mingi finally emerged from the crowd and Yunho snatched him out. He pulled the startled man as they ran outside the venue, to a steep hill going down to wherever direction his feet leads him to. He was in a state of panic and his mind is only full of taking Mingi away. He was reckless and impulsive -very unlike him but it’s the only way he could ever think of right at the moment.

“Yunho what’s wrong with you?!” Mingi asks but with just the slightest resistance. He let himself be dragged away by Yunho who was still gripping him tightly, making sure he won’t ever lose him.

Yunho finally slows down when Mingi starts dragging his weight down from fatigue. He felt his legs were about to lose strength anyways so they stopped, slowly pacing down a somewhat familiar sidewalk – coincidentally, right in front of Yunho’s family restaurant. Both of them were trying to catch their breaths until Mingi finally spoke.

“What’s the matter with you? Why did you do that? It’s my mom’s birthday and-”

“Please comeback with me.”

“What are you talking about-“

“This place,” still panting, Yunho straightens up as he faces Mingi. He tightened his hold to the hand he hasn’t let go ever since they fled from that place, scared to lose him and this chance any moment. “Mingi this place…this world –it’s empty. You can’t stay here.” Mingi’s tensed gaze finally softens at him.

“Yunho,”

“You can’t stay here forever, do you understand?”

“Yunho I ca-“ Yunho pulled Mingi tightly into his arms. He didn’t know what to do at this point. The ground starts to disperse in front of him, the midnight sky disbanding as it warps to a pitch black pit, their restaurant scattering into pixels. Time is his worst enemy and he’s afraid he’s running out of it. 

“You can. Mingi, please.” Yunho held him tighter with the crippling anticipation of losing him again anytime soon.

They’re about to wake up.

“They’re waiting for you. Your parents loved you. They all loved you and they want you back. Yunho felt the other starts to relax until Mingi finally cowers in his embrace.

“You don’t have to be afraid and escape reality anymore, Mingi. It’s going to be okay. Yeosang, San, Wooyoung -your brother Jongho…it’s gonna be the same with all of them. We’re gonna have so much fun like we used to. I can’t say our reality is perfect but if anything gets bad, I promise to be there for you, okay?” Yunho felt the other nod against his shoulder and that’s more than enough assurance for him to let go of the dream before it finally disintegrates before his eyes.

It’s been a few days since then. School has started and oddly, he hasn’t heard from Mingi ever since -even Yeosang and San doesn't have any idea of his whereabouts. He also found out he hasn’t even returned to the dorms yet. They thought it was still part of Mingi’s probationary period but even so, Mingi lost touch with them, even their small chats stopped all of a sudden. He was trying to reach out to him but all efforts are futile.

He did everything he knew was right but maybe he was just too ambitious, _too_ expecting. That after that dream, he’ll finally be able to meet Mingi in this reality and everything simply goes back to normal again.

Yunho busies himself behind the counter to shrug the thoughts away. He needed to get his shit back together. _Mingi is okay._ He chanted.

“Welcome,” Yunho greets routinely when he saw someone enters the front door from his periphery. 

And out of all days that have passed since the dream, he didn’t expect to meet her that day, a petite lady in her fifties with the fox-like gaze that is utterly familiar.

It was definitely her. Yunho watched closely behind the counter as one of his staff attended to the lady. Mrs. Song looks warm and kind as she was in his dream. But she seems particularly distressed with worry evident in her eyes and Yunho resisted the urge to approach her right at the moment. 

Yunho tried his best to resume at work without being distracted once in a while with the lady’s presence. But when he realized it’s been almost an hour since she came in with her third serving of tea, Yunho finally makes his move. He took over their staff and served her instead.

“Thank you dear, “ Mrs. Song timidly said. “I’m sorry. I’ll be meeting someone and I guess his class isn’t finished yet. I hope you don’t mind me waiting for longer?”

“Oh, not at all ma’am. Just take all the time you need. Are you perhaps waiting for your child?” Yunho’s heart was racing as he speaks.

“M-my son, ah, no.” The lady stammered, panic evident from the timbre of her voice. “I’m waiting for his friend actually.”

 _Yeosang? San? But why_?

“By the way, you look just like their age, do you go to this school too?”

“Y-yes I do ma’am.”

_Go for it Yunho, go ask about Mingi. You’re one step ahead of them._

“By any chance, I mean… the university is quite big but I’m just wondering if you would know a Kang Yeosang or a Choi San? They’re pretty active in school so -”

“Yes ma’am, I do. We’re friends.” Yunho couldn’t make it up exactly but Mrs. Song seems greatly relieved.

“Then you probably know my son, Mingi?”

“I’m sorry ma’am, are you Mrs. Song?”

“I am,”

“My name is Jeong Yunho. I’m so glad to meet you here. Mingi and I are friends. I am new to this school this year so their group kind of adopted me.”

“It’s really nice to meet you Yunho. I knew I have a good feeling in you. You seemed like a really nice kid.” Yunho blushes at the statement.

“If you’re waiting for San or Yeosang their classes will probably end around an hour from now. If it’s okay with you, I can be your company for the mean time.”

“That’s so nice of you my dear, but how about work?”

“Don’t worry Mrs. Song, I think this is the best time to take advantage of the managerial perks.” Yunho gestures to one of their staff to man the counter before he settles comfortably on the seat in front of Mrs. Song.

“What brings you here ma’am?“

“Actually, I just had a meeting with their faculty head. It’s about Mingi’s withdrawal this year.” Yunho was stunned. Withdrawal? We’re they going to take him out of school?

“As you may know, Mingi hasn’t been to school for days. He-“ The lady starts to fumble with her words and Yunho shifted closer to her. “He hasn’t been home for three days. This is the longest he’s been out without telling us. He even brought his car with him and he never brought a car ever since the accident.”

“His dad was really worried too. All the while I thought he went to his house to stay with him but he did not. Yeosang told me he hasn’t been to the dorms either ever since the classes started. That is why I wanted him and San to help us with the investigation.”

“Investigation?”

“We decided to report it to the police immediately. I couldn’t lose him Yunho, He’s the only one I got.” Yunho can’t help but frown worriedly. What does she meant by that?

“Mrs. Song wh-“ Yunho was cut when the lady abruptly excused herself to answer a phone call.

“Yes, this is she?” Yunho saw how the lady froze to her seat, eyes wide and wavering, tears awaiting to fall from the brim. Mrs. Song contained a loud gasp when as one of her hands fly to her chest. Yunho couldn’t make up the words that resonate from her phone but he knew something is definitely wrong that his heart began pounding harshly against his chest. 

It was the police, and they told her that Mingi was found that morning in his car on a road side cliff, about fifteen miles away from the city, unconscious, overdosed with pills.

Yunho failed. Mingi never came back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah, idk i really miss mingi irl  
> sorry for the heavy chapter tho >.<
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you for reading this self-indulgent fic. This is actually taken from a dream i had a couple of months ago, where i've been stanning ateez the hardest. What's crazy is that their comeback concept is all about dreaming and stuff so i kind of bombarded this story with references here and there. So yeah, first chapter's up! Hope it didn't bore you guys to tears. Please let me know what you think or just say hi. I love having friends :)


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